that's me. that's my blog.
i have fallen off the horse and can't seem to get back on. so many things to catch up on, so many emotions to spill, but somehow whenever i click on the magic little "new post" button i come up empty.
sure, time has a lot to do with it. most days i'm lucky if i even get a shower. (i know, gross. just be glad you don't live closer.) between 2 busy little boys, a busy husband, and a busy little business, i have fallen last on the list of priorities, and this little outlet has been left in the dust. but more than that, i have been fighting off my inner little wendy whiner, and instead of trying desperately to censor her words here in my little corner of the blogosphere, i have just stopped blogging altogether.
but that is problematic as well.
i miss it. i miss documenting my life. the good and the bad. i miss searching for meaning in the mundane. i miss the stewing of words and thoughts in my mind at all times and the melodic composition of them all. i miss the connection with friends and hearing every once in a while that i'm not the only one who has a bad day. i miss taking pictures and capturing my boys at this very stage that is so fleeting. i just miss it.
so, i will try again. though most of my life i have tried really hard to be optimistic and sunshine-y about all the details, i'm not really feeling it. maybe it is the bleak winter months ahead hanging over me like eeyore's little rain cloud, or maybe it is the stress that comes from trying to keep it all together and put on a happy face. i am hoping that as i again open up my thoughts and my heart here that i will be able to sort through and find more balance in motherhood, and in life in general.
some day i'll get my groove back.
i'm sure of it.