little henry. (with big brother in the background on his favorite new toy - the baby swing. oy vey.)
it was after a few long nights of little sleep and plenty of frustration and feelings of inadequacy and incompetence that i spoke with carlie on the phone. expressing my fatigue and feelings of selfishness, she reminded me of something that i really needed to hear that day, and today too for that matter:
from a talk given by Elder M. Russell Ballard last april
"First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.
Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: 'The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less' (Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11)."
those words (as paraphrased by carlie the other day) hit me like a ton of bricks. sure, there will be sleepless nights. there will be crying babies. there will be disciplining. there will be tempers lost and rough days. and some days may feel like i am fighting a losing battle. but, if i am strong enough and brave enough to relish in those beautiful moments that do come when i am looking for them, i feel satisfied, nay, HAPPY in my role as wife and mother and don't completely lose my mind in this pile of diapers and burp cloths.
shortly after that conversation, henry slept soundly in the other room and i had a few minutes with owey to myself. we read books together and laughed together and then he let me rock him and sing him to sleep. (those of you who know owey well know that he doesn't do this- he rarely falls alseep anywhere but his bed.) as i sat there holding my (big) baby, i felt overwhelmed with joy at what an awesome time of life this is and at how lucky i am to be able to spend each and every day with these beautiful boys. and when the house is a mess and there is laundry to fold and i can't hear myself think over the sound of the dishwasher, the favorite dvd of the week and the cry of a hungry babe, i have to reflect on these moments that make it all worth it and seek them out each day.
owey- the master at living in the moment. (showing off his new death-defying stunt of jumping from coffee table to couch.) and me? i think i'm living in the moment by not caring if you see what a disaster my house was that day. so there.
what do you do to live in the moment?
7 comments:
I LOVE this talk by Elder Ballard, and Anna Quindlen story really helps me put the focus where it needs to be. I often read this talk when I'm feeling down or frustrated. I try to look at the positive in things, which I stuggle with daily, and I'm amazed at how much more appreciation I have for those moments in life.
Henry is a doll! Congrats on being a mother of two!
Such CUTE boys!!! Such a GOOD mom!!! XOXOX
Love that quote. I needed it today too. Allison has had a rough few days...which means so have I. Dan actually essentially told me the same thing your post said. He encouraged me to remember the times during the day when she DOES follow the rules or speak kindly. I'm trying.
Thanks for sharing that! I just swiped it to use on my blog. I couldn't have said it any better, and it is something that is really important to me. I am grateful to have consistent reminders to live in the moment. I think they happen because Heavenly Father knows me, and He knows that if all this time slipped away and I missed it how very sad I would be.
Henry looks so much like you! I wonder if it will stay that way?
Such a great talk. Just remember to EMBRACE these days with young ones and sleepless night when they will lay in your arms~I have to remind myself of this too. Right now I am reminding myself to embrace family, even when they are far away...especially when my parents move to Guatamala City for 6 YEARS on Aug. 1. Not what many of us would have chosen, but trying to embrace what's happening!
I love that talk, its one of my favorites. And if you haven't ever read the whole essay by Anna Quindlen that the quote comes from, you should, it is also excellent. Hang in there and find those moments, you are doing a great job and you will need to remember this so that when I call YOU crying in a year (or whenever) you can tell me this all over again.
Owey's jumping face is so cute! I can't wait to see you guys soon!!!!
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