Monday, September 08, 2008

home?


well, we made it home from going home (?) and i have managed to (mostly) hold it together. i told clint when we got home that idaho makes me sick. not in a rude way, but literally. i felt so good in california the whole time i was there and was pretty sure it was all psychological. but as soon as we got off the plane i began to identify the things about the climate here that add to my yuckiness. altitude? gassy gassy gas. dry air? itchy skin and sticky throat (which makes me gag). no mom to cook for me all the time? total nausea at the thought of food. great. here we go again. literally the night we got back i was already in fetal position - and it wasn't because i had nothing better to do (i was beginning to think i was making it up out of boredom) - really i was running around trying to unpack and frantically plan for my relief society lesson the next day in church. so, apparently it's just idaho.
on a better note, we had a great day yesterday at church and i felt new hope for making friends and having a good time here this semester, even without the beach and sunshine (and my family). i am hoping a major attitude adjustment will kick me into high gear. sometimes it is so much easier to focus on the hard things (see above for proof of that) and what is going wrong in my life instead of looking for the blessings and miracles that really are happening all around me. we have been so blessed. even the fact that we are here is sort of a miracle. how many people do you know who get the chance to start over at almost 30? and we just found out that clint is eligible for a full ride academic scholarship this semester. if that is not a blessing, i don't know what is. owey is happy and healthy and the cutest kid ever, and even though i was scared to death of not being able to get pregnant again, here i am starting trimester #2 (the best one!). wow. i can't believe i can find anything to complain about.
yes, i miss california, and rexburg is no san diego, but i know this is where we need to be right now and we are being blessed daily for our willingness to do what we need to do.
feels good to recognize that.

7 comments:

amy said...

way to go on the scholarship, clint. That is awesome. It was SO fun to see you guys & hang-out a bit while you were here. we miss you but are happy that for all the good things that are going on in your life. take care!

Julia said...

Miq mentioned that you've had a hard time there in Rexburg. I changed my post to "in Boise" where it says people only have good things to say. Because that's what we've heard, but I haven't ever heard good things about Rexburg :( I hope this next semester is better!

And congrats on the new little one! Doing school and family is a challenge, but we are so grateful that we did it that way!

The Dobrons said...

I could totally feel all that emotion in your post. It is hard to keep looking for the positive and it's always hard to come back after visiting home--especially when it is SD. Thanks for the post...I think it helps me to look at the brighter side too.

Madsen Family said...

It is always a bummer to come home from vacation--especially to a place that doesn't feel like home yet. I've been in NY for three years and though my house feels like home (LOVE my house) I'm not sure NY feels like home. That just means to me that we need to get West soon and until then we'll enjoy the East coast for all it's worth. But it is so very hard to look at the bright side when I miss my mommy and my sister.

Becca's Blog said...

I love reading all of your posts about how traumatic your time in Idaho is and how much you hate it. It is just funny to me because I dislike anywhere else I've ever been compared to SE Idaho...including Southern California! It is just funny that usually what we are used to is what we like. Too bad we can't always have what we love...I would LOVE to be living in Idaho right now. The grass is always greener, isn't it?

We still need to get together sometime when I'm up there...that is if I go up anytime soon. It just isn't quite the same now that my parents are gone.

Holly said...

I was the same way when we went on a trip...I was "ok" (sick-wise) for most of our vacation, but as soon as we started heading back... the nausea and vomitting started all over again. It's definitely psychological!!!! I just preferred being entertained and busy all day, rather than feeling sorry for myself! I really hope you feel better soon! There's really nothing worse than feeling like crap...especially when you have a child to worry about! Prayers sent your way!

The Hinckley hot spot said...

Clint and Jess, glad to hear that idaho is treating you so well. just remember, we are just down the road 4 hrs, so please drop by. we miss you guys. Owen is looking cuter and cuter (that's no surprise)