patience...

apparently, i have pregnancy induced schizophrenia. you see, i've had to go back to the post i wrote just a few days ago several times to remind myself that it is ok that this baby isn't here yet. sane jessica knows that he will come when he's ready, that i won't die if i am pregnant another week, that it will all be worth it. however, sometimes crazy jessica creeps in and brings in all the drama humanly possible in being 39 (and a half!) weeks pregnant.
i went to the doctor again yesterday - and yes, still nothing.
and again, totally bummed.
i told clint it would be easier to be patient if being pregnant were more comfortable. (duh.)
so, what did i do? what any normal (when i say normal i mean DESPERATE) mommy-to-be would do. i laced up my tennis shoes (first time i've worn anything but flip flops in more than 2 months by the way), gave my puppy a pep talk, grabbed the ipod, and headed off for a nice long walk in hopes of getting things moving.
since i had done a little research in my spare time on ways to naturally induce labor, i figured this should be the one i try first since it doesn't involve major diarrhea, or other things i am unwilling to try at this point. So, an hour and 3 miles later (yes- i was walking VERY slow - you saw how huge i am these days right?) i realized i was lost in my own neighborhood basically. i did eventually find my way home, but i had visions in my mind of going into labor on the side of the road just a few blocks from my house, yet having no idea where i was, my poor dog wondering what the heck was going on and why i had led him on a death march (but hey- at least i would be in labor, right?)
my favorite part of the walk was the looks from women driving past that (from the looks on their faces) knew EXACTLY what i was up to. that look of, "oh poor girl, she looks really uncomfortable" with a hint of "go for it girl, you get that baby on his way" and of course "oh... i remember that feeling, thank goodness it's her and not me." funny how i could read all of those things in a split second as they drove past.
i did survive and make it home safely - as did the dog. he slept really well last night.
apparently the walk did absolutely nothing except make me go crazy again this morning and lace up those shoes once more for another attempt (this time i made sure i knew where i was going.)
so, yeah- sane jessica can wait a while longer, but crazy jessica just might hurt someone (most likely herself) if things don't get moving a long here pretty quick.
i'll let you know who wins.