mark your calendars...

march 18th is the big day... our lives change forever... again!

what's new:

1) did you notice my new blog design? thanks to my seriously underpaid graphic designer (that would be clint) we have a whole new look around here. those of you who thought it was me, thanks for the compliment, but you really overestimate my talent and underestimate my laziness. i did pick the colors though! (yay me!)

2) it snowed again this weekend. not that i love the snow, but it was desperately needed after a few weeks of nothing and all the old snow was all nasty brown. it's amazing what a fresh new coat can do to an make the world beautiful again. i took this picture sunday morning because (although hard to tell from the pic) these were the biggest, wettest snowflakes i'd ever seen. it was like slurpee snow. apparently perfect for snowballs (what do i know... ?!)

3) owey finally fits into dad's belt - and we can't get enough of it. i just love that thing!! what a stylin' kid!

4) owen thinks he's big. he is now obsessed with eating like a big boy (notice the spoon in one hand and the other hand in his mouth - whatever works, kid!) and although fun to watch, it makes for quite the clean up.

i think there are pictures of me about this age with yogurt all over my face too. like mother like son i suppose.

5) an artist in the making. owey is so content drawing and is sure to be an artist like his dad. this keeps him entertained as long as we can keep the crayons out of his mouth.


6) one of my latest projects - here is the hat i just finished crocheting. carlie gave us a visor beanie that her son had outgrown and i went on a mad search to find a good pattern to copy it. i think it is to die for - now to figure out a way to make him keep it on his head. (i guess when it's cold enough out he keeps it on!)

7) this isn't anything new - i just couldn't resist snapping this picture of my cute tuckered out little boy. don't you just want to eat him?
8) i think we may actually have an official date for # 2's arrival. not exactly what i was hoping for (hard to arrange around a busy school schedule!) but what can you do? i'll keep you posted as plans are further cemented.

what's new with you?

faces of owen

is it just me or am i the luckiest that i get to look at this cute face all day long!?!

the bump. well, more like the basketball...

be advised: very pregnant woman has been asked for a pregnancy update. danger!

(don't say i didn't warn ya.)
well, here we are at week 30 (and a half. let's be honest, the half weeks always count.) and i'm feelin it. it's funny the difference between this pregnancy and the first. since i was so sick with owen for almost 6 months, by the time the last trimester rolled around i was just so thankful to not be puking all the time that i didn't hardly notice the heartburn, the lack of oxygen, the crushing weight, the ridiculous bladder. well, that may not be entirely true- i noticed... it just seemed like such a relief compared to what i'd already been through.
this time around i was not nearly as sick (thank goodness!) but i must say the end of this one is much tougher. maybe it's crawling around on the ground playing cars, trying to hold a clingy toddler when he needs his mama, the already thin air, or that last time around i sat at a desk all day and then came home to lie on the couch all night. somehow i feel bigger (though i started out 20 lbs lighter than i was when i got pregnant with owen), more tired, and more dizzy pretty much all the time.
so, that's enough complaining.
i find that my emotions surrounding this pregnancy are so different. just like with owen, i am both excited and nervous, but in a totally different way. instead of the anxiety and unknowns of what it will be like to be a mom, now i just wonder how i will ever do it with two. will owen feel like he is getting the shaft? will there be enough of me to go around? will i crumble with no sleep, 2 babies, and recovery from a c-section? will clint get to spend quality time with his boys and still be able to do so well in school? i understand that i am not the only second-timer that has ever felt this way - and i know millions of moms have survived this stage. i really want to be present and somehow soak it all in instead of going into survival mode. any suggestions?
at the same time i am so excited for him to finally be here! i love the thought of our little growing family and being surrounded by my boys. we found out he was a he at a particularly poignant time for me - right around the election when i was so anxious about the future of our country and what that meant for my children. my heart was so full of worry of how they would handle the world and how i would prepare them for it. as soon as we knew it was a boy, clint reminded me that i'll now have sons to protect me and our family. my own little stripling warriors. what a comforting thought. i can't wait to see owey as a big brother and to watch these two grow up to be best buds. and to hold a teeny tiny baby again and kiss those tiny toes... oh, the thought makes me melt. i just can't wait.
as for the plan? i just found a new doctor here (thanks to aunt heidi), though unfortunately he can't see me until the end of the month. heidi recommended him since he did her c-sections, and i am just grateful to not have to pick a doctor by closing my eyes and pointing to one on the list. and yes, we are planning a c-section. i know it is possible to have a normal delivery after a c-section, but since the first one didn't quite fit, i have a sneaking suspicion this guy won't either. besides, being able to plan it all sure is convenient with a husband in school and grammy coming to help with owey and all that. my due date is march 21st, and i'm hoping i can schedule something the week before. i'll cross my fingers.
and as of now we are still undecided on names. we've gone back and forth on luke and a few others. the hardest thing for me is that there really isn't any name that i am just in love with. and honestly i'm not sure if we'll know before we see him (soooo not like me, i know!!) any names you love right now that a) go with erickson (no jacksons, hudsons, andersons, etc.) and b) are unique, but not weird (like owen)? most of the names on our list i have issues with how common they are (that's my biggest beef with luke). being a jessica, i know what that is like and want to avoid it if at all possible.
discuss.

side note...

so glad you all enjoyed the tour, and that you can laugh "with" us, not at us (right?)
just a few side notes- clint has always been and will always be the one with decorating sense in our family. so, i let him have at it and have yet to be disappointed. i will pass the compliments along.
the bathroom - i realize now that i didn't even comment on how freaky the shower surround is. unique is one way to put it. crazy weird is another. i think the walls are made of redwood or something? kind of like a sauna?!? i don't know who's idea that was! and remember how i posted not to long ago asking for your best shower cleaning advice? yeah- we're back to square one. i don't even know where to start. deck cleaner?
i laughed so hard when kim (one of my mission comps) compared it all to argentina... honestly, i hadn't even thought about it, but yes- the heater is pretty much the same, the toilet - just as frigid, but thank goodness we got a washer and dryer, so we don't have to wash our underwear in a bucket with a broomstick. (though we do wash our son in a bucket - sans broomstick. hmmm... which is worse?)
speaking of - taking a shower with owey might be a viable option if a) owey wasn't deathly afraid of the shower (i have no idea...) b) i didn't have a gigantic belly and could actually hold him without killing the both of us, or c) owey was awake by the time clint got in the shower (i'm not even going to complain about this one. sleep in child!) so, for now - plastic storage bin it is. that's all.
more updates to come!

"home is home, be it ever so humble." -proverb

welcome to our home!

we love to have visitors, so make yourself at home! mi casa es su casa...
as you can see, it's nothing fancy, but it feels just right for our little family and we feel blessed to have found something that fits our needs so perfectly.

this is where we spend most of our time... the family room. i just love the picture wall (clint's idea, of course). it took some convincing for me to love the old wood built-ins, but somehow it just fits now. the fireplace doesn't work, so we have to come up with something cute to keep it safe and covered up. any ideas?


standing in the family room this is what you see... looks kinda dark, but these are the entry ways.

i'm dying to get my hands on this baby, but it's hard to put money into something that's not even ours!

ah, the retro kitchen. the floors are new (hallelujah! no vinyl!) but everything else is seriously from the 50's. take a good look at those solid metal cabinets. i've never seen anything like them. the good news? owey doesn't even TRY to open them. who needs child locks when you have these suckers? and if you know anyone getting rid of a portable dishwasher in the area, let me know! these dish hands are killing me!


the source of our warmth and sanity. we were nervous about this - no central heat, how well could a radiator possibly heat a whole house? and would owey burn his little fingers everyday? so far so good - works like a charm, and owey knows not to touch it and says "hot" when he gets close.

by far - the biggest compromise when deciding whether or not we should take this place:



the bathroom. the one and only. if it looks tiny, it feels tinier. it is for sure the coldest room in the house. and no tub. hence...


that would be a plastic storage bin we are using for a bath. hey - whatever works, right? o doesn't even notice the difference. i know someday i will look back on this picture and laugh. heck, who am i kidding. i laugh when i look at it now! sometimes, you just have to make do with what you have, ya know?

sorry, no pictures of our room or owey's room (they're still a mess), but you get the idea.

really, all things considered - we couldn't pass this place up. a real house (no shared walls!), a big yard (complete with apple tree!), and best of all - right across the street from a great park that i am sure we will be at EVERY day in the summer. now hopefully we don't outgrow it too fast! i'd love to not have to move for a few years...

hope you enjoyed the tour! if you'd like to see it in the flesh (or wood or brick or whatever) we'd love to have you!

where to begin?

last night (after a week of disconnect from the entire world, i.e. no internet) i finally got a chance to catch up on emails, blog-reading, etc. and that's when i got totally overwhelmed by how much i have to blog about and how i have no idea where to start.
i could start with grueling details of our move, about how awesome clint did for yet another semester at byu-i, about our dreamy trip to san diego for 2 weeks - the food, the fam, the friends, and christmas! i could write about how big my boy is, how much he loves having his puppy back at our house, about our little house, about the 2 feet of snow we got this week, about clint's first week at (the true) BYU (so, i'm a little biased), about the 3 books i read this week (no internet and no cable - what else is a girl to do?), new years resolutions, how i'll be a mom of 2 in just over 2 months (yikes!) .... you get the point. this could go on forever.
yet, i feel like i have nothing to write about at the same time. a little "writer's block" if you will. still, since i feel i've totally neglected you, my faithful blog buddies, for weeks now, i must post something. forgive me if all i have the energy for is a few pictures:
unfortunately, i haven't taken many pictures lately (so even this is a total cop-out), and hardly got any from christmas (i know, shame, shame!) but here are a few of my favorites. next on my to-do's (besides showering for the day) is to take some pictures of our new place. (maybe i should clean first?)

didja miss me?

we are alive. alive and well.
we made it to our new little home safe and sound (through the craziest snowstorm i've ever seen and many not so small miracles) and got settled in and mostly unpacked just in time to pack up our suitcases (sans gloves, beanies and snow shovels) to head for real home.
and here we are. it's amazing what a paradise i grew up in. the skies are clear and blue, the trees and grass are green as spring, the air is only about 50 degrees warmer than any air i've felt in the last few months, and oh- family and friends are near. paradise, i tell you.
we will be here for 2 weeks and i have never been so excited to relax and soak it all in... the food (which, by the way - i highly recommend planning your next pregnancy around thanksgiving and christmas! it's awesome!), the music, the lights, the little boy loving on his grammy and papa, the spirit of the season.
i wish you and yours the best time of the year. i hope you all find yourselves at home.

"At Christmas, all roads lead home."
~ Marjorie Holmes, American writer.

so long little rexburg.

remember this?



so, we don't leave until tomorrow (as long as all goes as planned), but today is our last day with the internet and i wanted to be sure to record my thoughts as we leave this little life here in rexburg.
last night as i knelt down to pray i thought about what a crazy adventure it has been to be here for the last 6 months, and (hormonal as i am) completely lost it. though i may have complained to no end (sorry clint) and i may not have totally understood all the reasons we had to come here, i do feel as though all went according to plan (not MY plan, of course) and feel blessed to have had this experience and also, of course, to be moving on from it.
just a few things that i've learned from life here in rexburg:
1. i can do anything if i feel like it will be beneficial for my family in one way or another - even if it is outside of my comfort zone.
2. while san diego will always be home to me, i can make a home wherever i am if i put my heart into it.
3. family is everything. i would never ever have survived this journey without owen and clint, and having our families so far away has been more difficult than i ever imagined. i am so excited to be closer to family, or at least to an airport.
4. i can make friends. i was so nervous when we came here that i would never find friends since we were so different from your typical byu-i students, but i have made some great friends that i hope to be in touch with for a long time. really, most people have something in common - kids, crafts, being poor, you name it. though i may be 10 years older than some, we still have common ground to stand on.
5. anything worth having is worth sacrificing for. we may still have a long road of school ahead of us and many years of sacrifice, but i know it will be well worth it in the end.
6. i can love and support my husband by making dinner and keeping a clean house. i know this sounds somewhat obvious, but it's amazing how i've tried to avoid it in the almost 4 years we've been married. now that he is so busy and i literally can't do his homework, go to class, or take his tests for him, these are things i can do.
7. owen doesn't care where he is as long as he has us to love and entertain him. he could care less that there is not a target nearby, that he wears hand-me-downs, or that it is freezing outside. he is happy when we are happy and will adapt to whatever situation we provide.
8. humility is easier to learn when you are willing. if you try and submit mostly, but hold on to the last bit of control as long as possible, the process isn't any easier, quicker, or less painful. the opposite is true, in fact. i can't say i've really actually learned this yet - but am in the process and hope that i can learn from my mistakes and just give in already.
9.when you go without, you appreciate so much more in life - be it friends, family, the sun, the mall... you name it. did i tell you how giddy i was driving through provo when we went to look for a place? the same town that used to send shivers down my spine and give me a stomach ache... but now - oh wow, how i will appreciate happy valley in a different way than ever before.
10. god knows me and my family and has me in mind. we have tried hard to recognize the blessings that have poured into our lives since leaving behind so much and we have seen his hand more visible in every day than at any other time since we've been married. it is harder to feel sorry for yourself and your situation when you see how much you are given each day and how truly merciful god is.

so long little rexburg. we are grateful for what you have taught us!

p.s. no posting for awhile... just to warn ya!

it is a state of mind.

"To the American People: Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. If we think on these things, there will be born in us a Savior and over us will shine a star sending its gleam of hope to the world."
~ Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), American president. Presidential message (December 25, 1927).

it is a heavenly gift.

How silently, how silently
The wondrous gift is given!
So God imparts to human hearts
The blessings of his heaven.
No ear may hear his coming;
But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive him, still
The dear Christ enters in.
(O Little Town of Bethlehem.)

it is in your heart.

Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree."
~ Charlotte Carpenter.

it is life.

"Mild he lays his glory by,
Born that man no more may die,
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth.
Risen with healing in his wings,
Light and life to all he brings,
Hail, the Son of Righteousness
Hail, the heaven-born Prince of Peace.
Hark the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn King."
-Hark the Herald Angels Sing

things eternal.

friday night as clint and i lay awake late into the night talking about baby boy #2 and what he shall be called (still struggling to choose!) our conversation was halted by the sound of our baby boy #1 crying and then the dreaded sound that we could only recognize as one sick little boy. clint went into check, and although he had already fallen fast asleep, there he lay in his own "sickness" and we then knew a long night was ahead of us. the only other time owen has had a stomach flu was when we were at my parents over the summer - and we had learned the hard way that cleaning him up and putting him back to bed was a big mistake. so, we set up camp with our poor little guy in his room - diaper only, garbage can near by, rock, rock, rocking him in a vain attempt to comfort his sick little body. he spent most of the night in agony, looking at us with those big brown eyes as if to ask "why?" and tearing my momma's heart in two. i can't handle it when my boy is in pain - and nothing brings me to tears faster than seeing him hurt and not being able to fix it.
clint took a turn in the rocking chair while owey tried to get some rest between bouts of sickness and i set up a makeshift bed on the floor and tried to get a little sleep. halfway through the night, we traded posts and it was my turn to rock that little boy and hope to somehow give him comfort and help him at least feel loved and safe in the midst of so much yuckiness. i tried to sleep with his warm body curled up next to mine, but my mind was so full of thought that sleep became impossible. how is it that a huge piece of my heart was wrapped up into this little boy? and how would i ever cope with letting it walk out into the world and exist outside of my safe and loving arms? if a little stomach flu was enough to send me into tears and heartache, what of bullies, broken hearts, and bad choices? would i get a thick skin and learn to deal with all that my boy will face in this world? or is that just part of the life of a mother? feeling so much love for someone else that it sometimes (literally) hurts?
as i sat pondering these things, i couldn't help but think of my own parents and of course my Heavenly Parents. how they must ache when we do. how they must wish they could make it all better. how they must long for our happiness and safety. and yet again, while rocking my sick little boy, i was taught once more the miracle of motherhood. this is what i need to be learning. this is why god wants us to have children and begin to understand what he feels for us. oh how He must love us!
ironically, i found myself sick as a dog last night and it was my turn to ask "why?". without a mom and dad to rock me and comfort me, i instead turned to my sweet husband and his priesthood. at least then i could feel of his love and safe arms, and of the love and compassion of a loving and healing Heavenly Father that wishes to bless me. oh how grateful i am for that knowledge and for that power in my own home. and while i don't wish to ever have that flu again, i am grateful for the tender mercies shown to me as my humbled heart was given a glimpse of things eternal.

it is sharing.

"Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'."
~ Bing Crosby

it is selfless.

"Born in a stable, cradled in a manger, He came forth from heaven to live on earth as mortal man and to establish the kingdom of God. During His earthly ministry, He taught men the higher law. His glorious gospel reshaped the thinking of the world. He blessed the sick. He caused the lame to walk, the blind to see, the deaf to hear. He even raised the dead to life. To us He has said, 'Come, follow me.'
As we seek Christ, as we find Him, as we follow Him, we shall have the Christmas spirit, not for one fleeting day each year, but as a companion always. We shall learn to forget ourselves. We shall turn our thoughts to the greater benefit of others." – President Monson

it is holy.

Truly He taught us
To love one another;
His law is love and
His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break
For the slave is our brother
And in His name
All oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in
Grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us
Praise His holy name!
Christ is the Lord,
Oh praise His name forever,
His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim
His pow'r and glory
Evermore proclaim.
- O Holy Night

it is loving others.

"My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?"
~ Bob Hope,

it is for angels

"What is the lesson for us today as we enter a new Christmas season? Who will minister to those in need? Who are the angels that will prepare the way for His return? As we sing the hymns of Christmas and speak of angels sent to earth to witness the Savior’s birth in the meridian of time, may we rise to the occasion and minister to those in need in our day. May we be reminded of our promises to 'bear one another’s burdens, … to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places … and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that [we] may have eternal life' (Mosiah 18:8–9).
I bear witness that Christmas is a season for angels. As they ministered to the Savior and others in the 'meridian of time,' may we, as angels of mercy, minister to other families and to those in need in the 'fulness of times' so that the Lord’s work may move forward." –Merril J. Bateman

it doesn't come from a store.

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more? - Dr. Seuss