the best thing

by far the best thing i ever did in my twenties (and in all of my 30 years i guess) was this:




and this:




and this:




what an amazing season of life.

the answers.

want to know why sometimes i seem a little insane?

1. how many countries did i visit in my 20's? 8
(england, france, italy, spain, argentina, tahiti, mexico, cayman islands. other fun trips in the good ole' usa - kauai, lake powell, key west, jackson hole)
2. what year did i graduate from byu? 2003
yes, i know that is 6 years after i graduated from high school, but with a mission in the middle and being in no rush to leave, that's the way it worked out.

3. how many roommates did i have? 30 (not including clint and the boys of course)
yes, 30. that includes 7 premish, 13 on the mission, 3 after at byu, and 7 in huntington beach. nuts.

4. how old was i when i got married? 25

5. how many cars did i drive in my 20's? 7
a few of which i wish i'd never laid eyes on. like this and this.

6. what was the longest i was in one place, and where was it? carmel valley
in the last 10 years, the longest i've been in one place was carmel valley. a whopping 15 months. i'm just a regular gypsy i tell you.

7. how many times did i move? 22
seriously. now you might understand why i hate moving so much.

8. how many full time jobs did i have?3
or 5 if you include being a mom and allora (believe me, they are both full time.!)

9. how long did clint and i date? 1 year

10. how many states did i live in?4
california, utah, wyoming, idaho (plus 3 provinces in argentina: mendoza, san juan and san luis)

yes, it's been quite a ride.

there was once a time when walmart was the staff of life.

i once remember a friend in college saying that walmart was the staff of life. i thought she was nuts. having grown up a target kind of girl, you may as well have tried to convince me that the earth was flat rather than try and tell me that walmart could be anything close to the staff of life.
and then, there was argentina.
i served a mission for a year and a half in mendoza, argentina and for the first 9 months of that mission i was in an area where there was a walmart. and that.was.gold. rare commodities such as peanut butter, maple syrup, and even tortillas were only found at walmart and i was lucky enough to not have to go without. though in the 21 years of my life before my mission i had never cared for the place, there was something about those wide open aisles that felt like home.

(can you find me?)

the walmart in mendoza really has nothing to do with anything i experienced or learned in argentina, except for the fact that my desire to venture there weekly illustrates how completely upside down my world was at the time. everything was different, uncomfortable, hard, and new. yet, it was incredible, rewarding, happy, and life-changing. that year and a half in argentina has largely shaped me as a person. it is what i remember most about the first half of my twenties, even though now it seems like a dream. it is there that i learned that with change comes growth, with hardship comes joy, and that success usually lies just outside of your comfort zone. it is there that i learned the kind of wife and mother i want to be, the kind of man i want to marry, and the kind of instrument i want to be in god's hands.
it is there that i learned that walmart is not THAT bad. (don't get me wrong - would choose target over walmart any day of the week!)

did you know i lived in 2 more places that only had a walmart? any guesses?

a quizzle fo shizzle (again)

let's just see how well you know me, or how much of my twenties you were a part of.

take a guess, I dare you:

1. how many countries did i visit in my 20's?

2. what year did i graduate from byu?

3. how many roommates did i have?

4. how old was i when i got married?

5. how many cars did i drive in my 20's?

6. what was the longest i was in one place, and where was it?

7. how many times did i move?

8. how many full time jobs did i have?

9. how long did clint and i date?

10. how many states did i live in?

this may just give you an idea of how crazy the past ten years have been...

real quick.

sorry, no funny anecdote here.

just wanted to make sure that you, my beloved family and friends are in on the action.

would love it to go to you....

i once lived out of my car.

yep. you read that right.

actually, it probably should say "more than once, i've lived out of my car."

aaahhh, the life of a 20 year old college vagabond.

you want the story? well, ok.

i started working as an efy counselor in the summers when i was 18. the summer of my 2oth year i decided that it would be silly to pay rent all summer if i was going to be in the dorms all week. all i needed was somewhere to crash for the weekend. oh, and somewhere to store all of my junk. hence, i lived out of my car.

i usually crashed on brooke's couch (thanks brookie!) or whoever else would take me in, and since efy was 5 days of hyper teenage girls that didn't sleep, i use the term "crash" rather literally. man i used to be able to survive on so little sleep back when i was a spring chick.

so, the living out of the car thing would not have been that bad really, except that i happened to drive what i referred to as "white trash" (an old white jeep cherokee) that may or may not have started every time i wanted it to. which meant that my portable closet/house/ was not so portable. the battery died so often (and yes, i replaced it more than once, and the alternator, and...) that i was on a first name basis with the AAA tow truck guys. once i asked the guy what i should do and his response? classic: "honestly? drive it off a cliff." perfect.

anyhow, being an efy counselor was such an incredibly rewarding experience and so much fun - definitely one of the highlights of my early twenties. living out of my car? not so much. apparently i didn't learn my lesson because i did it not once, but twice. glutton for punishment i suppose. but it makes for a good story, right?

wish i had pics for all these things... who knows where they are.

tune in to find out:

1. how many roommates i had from age 20-29

2. how many times i moved from age 20-29

3. how many cars i drove from age 20-29

and so, so, so much more. (more than you care to know- i guarantee it!)

so long, farewell

(what is it with the sound of music these days?)

soooo... sunday marked the first day of the last week of my twenties.

how's that for dramatic?

don't get me wrong, birthdays are fun and all, but there have been certain milestones that i have not exactly appreciated - you know, when it comes to growing up.

like when i cried at the byu freshman ward halloween dance when they coincidentally played dancing queen (only 17...) because i was just about to turn 18. and i didn't want to be an adult. and like when i stressed out on my 25th birthday when my parents kindly reminded me that at 25, they were already done having kids. and i wasn't even married yet. (ok, i was ALMOST engaged, but still. not words you like to hear when you see your youth slipping through your fingers and you are sure your womb is shriveling by the day.) and so 30?

haven't been too excited about that one either.

sure, by now, i am married, have a degree, have 2 beautiful boys, and an exciting business. but i remember when my mom turned 30. and i remember my dad joking about her being "over the hill." he had to explain what that meant to me, and it made sense at the time. "oh yeah- like her life is half over and it's all down hill from here..." you know. because she was my mom. and because i was 5. and she was 30. but me? no way.

i mean, i haven't even gotten started yet!!

in preparation for this life-altering birthday milestone (did i mention i'm feeling dramatic today?) i thought i would spend this week reminiscing on my twenties. don't say i didn't warn ya.

and to all of you "older and wiser"s - any advice to ward off a mid-life crisis?

as if i didn't have enough to do

i just started a new blog dedicated to allora handmade. you can find it here. check in to see what's new, what i do with my "spare" time (is there really such a thing?), and when and where to enter giveaways - including the one i'll be doing any day now to mark my 100th etsy sale! (91 as of right now... can't even believe it.)

giveaway!!

hop on over to joy's hope for a giveaway by yours truly!! don't miss out :)

thanks girls.

i really do appreciate your kind and thoughtful words. and though my whiney post was not written with the intention of boosting my ego, i thank you for giving me a bit to smile about and remember all that i have to be grateful for. and today i have a bit of a kick in my step. could be from my awesome friends. or it could be from these little devils:


which, by the way, if you lived closer i would totally be bringing over to your house right about now for being such a great friend. but you don't (dang it!) and i already ate all of the ones without chocolate chips. now what?
well, if i can't bring them over to you, i can at least give you the super duper easy deluxe recipe.
Ready?
spice cake mix
can of pumpkin (15 oz)
3 eggs
1/3 c. water
1/3 cup oil (i used applesauce - cuz i'm soooo healthy like that)

and feel free to add your chocolate of choice - or don't

then top it off with some cream cheese frosting and there goes the idea of being healthy. but it's soooo much yummier.

that's it. 350 degrees- 20 ish minutes - wham bam thank you maa'm.
and if you want to get all fancy, try it in a mug. i did. and i feel like martha.

now go make them for yourselves since i can't... i insist!

and thank you. again.

a little off balance.

you know that feeling? the one where you have a book report due in 2 days and you haven't even started the book and you just can't even comprehend catching up to the point of being able to write anything slightly coherent and so you put it off a little more because you don't know where to begin? (though the obvious answer from frauline maria is to "start at the very beginning... a very good place to start!)

that's me. that's my blog.

i have fallen off the horse and can't seem to get back on. so many things to catch up on, so many emotions to spill, but somehow whenever i click on the magic little "new post" button i come up empty.

sure, time has a lot to do with it. most days i'm lucky if i even get a shower. (i know, gross. just be glad you don't live closer.) between 2 busy little boys, a busy husband, and a busy little business, i have fallen last on the list of priorities, and this little outlet has been left in the dust. but more than that, i have been fighting off my inner little wendy whiner, and instead of trying desperately to censor her words here in my little corner of the blogosphere, i have just stopped blogging altogether.

but that is problematic as well.

i miss it. i miss documenting my life. the good and the bad. i miss searching for meaning in the mundane. i miss the stewing of words and thoughts in my mind at all times and the melodic composition of them all. i miss the connection with friends and hearing every once in a while that i'm not the only one who has a bad day. i miss taking pictures and capturing my boys at this very stage that is so fleeting. i just miss it.

so, i will try again. though most of my life i have tried really hard to be optimistic and sunshine-y about all the details, i'm not really feeling it. maybe it is the bleak winter months ahead hanging over me like eeyore's little rain cloud, or maybe it is the stress that comes from trying to keep it all together and put on a happy face. i am hoping that as i again open up my thoughts and my heart here that i will be able to sort through and find more balance in motherhood, and in life in general.

some day i'll get my groove back.

i'm sure of it.