Monday, May 05, 2008

what to blog about?

i realize i haven't blogged in over a week, and i just can't decide what to blog about.
do i blog about how my little boy is ALL BOY and loves his trucks, has a puffy lip (yes, from face-planting) and never stops?






(see the puffy bottom lip?)

or that he pulls himself up anywhere and everywhere, loves books, and wishes he could walk already?



or that some cloudy days and having only one car has gotten him (and me) a little stir crazy?



or that he has recently taken up streaking (thanks to the help of dad) and now expects as part of the bedtime routine to cruise his nakey little body (except for the towel-cape of course) through the house before he is forced into jammies for the night?



or about how fun it is to see these two little brothers from another mother in all their opposite-ness (yes, it's a word)?



harrison and owey

or about how much we are going to miss diego? (the new apartment won't let us have a dog)



or about how freaking cute this kid is?




or how scary i look after running? or how scared i am that my half-marathon is 3 weeks away. (i had a dream last night that it was REALLY easy... that's always good right?)



obviously, i have a lot to write about, but don't have much energy for it.
last night we had a little cinco de mayo get together with some friends from church and it felt like we were throwing our own farewell party.
and i'm a little melancholy today.
do you mind if i spill some sad feelings?
i feel guilty for feeling sad about leaving since i know this is such a great thing for clint and for the future of our family.
i feel weak for not feeling up to the challenge of starting over again and finding a new life.
i feel inadequate to be the wife of a student and to be as supportive as i know i need to be (of course i support the whole thing, but that's not to say i will be able to control my urge to freak out if i feel like a single mom at times.)
i feel beyond sad to leave behind such great friends and my awesome family not knowing if i have it in me to find new friends and that although wyoming (and family) is close, 4 hours may not be close enough.
and i wish the sun would come out today to help me cheer up a little.

4 comments:

Tracie said...

He is adorable. You look great. and I am sure that you are stronger than you think!

Carlie said...

Jess, it's okay to feel sad! You have to have those moments in life to appreciate the good ones. Life will get better. Rexburg will be warm by the time you get there and I really hope you guys can go to Old Faithful with us!

amy said...

jess, I am happy to hear that you are human...just like the rest of us. It's okay to have a sad moment. Always know that we are just a phone call away (or just a short walk for the next few weeks). we're up for hanging-out whenever you guys are. ;)

The Kaltenbachs said...

I love you so much Jess. Thanks for being honest and vulnerable. There is a spirit in Rexburg that will soothe your soul. I know it sounds crazy but when you get there be still enough for a moment to feel the penetrating spirit there and it will give you the strength you need. You're going to look back on this challenge/change and realize that once again the Lord had guided you to exactly where you were supposed to be!!