Wednesday, February 18, 2009

my baby.

yesterday i got the bug to go through baby stuff and make room for #2. i thought it was a project that may take a week, but it turns out i am more organized than i had given myself credit for and was done by lunch time. as i sorted through owey's clothes deciding what to keep out and what to put back in the storage shed, i couldn't believe the nostalgia that came over me. the 6-12 month clothes reminded me of carmel valley and rexburg, of the craziness that was our life last summer. long car rides, trips to the park, hopes to make new friends... 3 - 6 reminded me of running. somehow i pictured all of those little clothes on my bundled up running partner that faithfully accompanied me on my quest to challenge myself. it wasn't until i got to the 0-3 month box that i found myself nearly welling up. how can it be? owey was never that small. how did he get so big? pulling out those teeny tiny little onesies and itty bitty jeans and camo pants just made my jaw drop. where did all the time go? and, (in 28 days) will i really have another little love of my life small enough to fit into those precious memories in fabric form? i was doing pretty good until i found the lamby jammies and that's where i lost it. i mean, remember this?

clint and i used to wish he could wear those lamby jammies every night - he just looked so yummy and cuddly in them. but now they wouldn't fit over his foot if we tried. what happened to my baby?
with the thoughts of little brother coming to town, while i am of course anxious and ready to be done being pregnant, i am starting to feel panicked at the thought of losing the only baby i've ever known and loved to pieces. does he have to grow up? can't they just stay little forever? of course i can't wait to meet the new addition, but what about my main man? i miss him already...

6 comments:

brooke said...

OK you made me cry, stop that! I can't even imagine going through Zach's things, how do they get so big so fast?

Lindsey said...

Thanks for reminding me to cherish how small Blake is now. Those are super cute pajamas! I am excited to see your new addition soon.

Madsen Family said...

ahhh, jess....seeing as how will just celebrating b-day #1, i am beyond weepy and sentimental. these little guys grow so fast and it makes my heart so sad. i just know heaven is where i can push the flashback button to all the good moments of my life. i'm pretty sure i will use it to watch my little peanut over and over again. i am so very excited for your new one to come and i know you will find so much love for both your boys. but i understand the anxiety as well. good luck to you (28 days--really???? that pregnancy went really fast for me:)

Melissa said...

That 0-3 month box gets us all! I could feel Heather on my chest the way I used to hold her just by touching the jammies! She was around age 7 when I went through our 0-3's again for a cousin. Those are powerful feelings to come back so instantly! You will miss your little family of three for a bit, but then after just a short little while, you'll be a family of four and it will seem like it's always been that way. ;)

Mique (as in Mickey) said...

And to think that those were my very favorite jammies on my 9 year old!! I can't even imagine him that teeny tiny. I used to love to squeeze him and hug him in that very outfit.
I'm glad that I get to experience that through you (sorta!) and that I get to play Auntie M and (attempt to) spoil and love your boys. Even if it is from afar.
Love you!!

Michelle said...

ooh, I still have some of those tiny things-- love them. I remember that anxiety for the 2nd baby-- how could you possibly love him as much as your first? But after your first look at your new baby all your worries will disappear.

I'd love to take photos for you! simplejoysimplebeauty.com