jessandclint

hi there friendly friends!

2010-07-19T07:55:00.002-06:00

just thought i'd check in and let you know that i'll be blogging a lot more regularly over here. i'll still post updates here, but i'm giving it a go be more consistent in one place. would you mind bookmarking me over there, and leaving me a little love every once in a while? thanks! mwuaah!
p.s. did you see i've added baby lovelies to my shop? loooooove!!!

it's true.

2010-07-02T23:22:00.002-06:00

a real conversation in the car with clint yesterday...

me: we really suck at a lot of things, but man we sure are good at making cute kids
clint: yup.

proof:

told ya so.

random randoms

2010-06-10T22:36:00.000-06:00

1. haven't spewed my brain onto a blog in so long that it hurts. is there some kind of diagnosis for that? like writer's anorexia? huh? i don't know. (see, i'm in pain)
2. started healthy-eating/ sick-of-hating-my-body/ torture-myself-through-good-old-fashioned-exercise this week. i can't believe how crazy addicted i am to food. and i can't tell you how unfair it is to RUN past costa vida, panda express, papa johns all at lunch time while on a diet. curses!!!
3. so excited for sytycd to be on again. besides food, that show is my #1 addiction. not sure what to think about the whole all-star thing. tonight i realized that something was different (besides the new format). and then it hit me.... NO MARY MURPHY! no screaming like a banshee every 5 seconds. wow. that lady is annoying! i'm sure she'll be back, but i certainly didn't miss her.
4. got my first sunburn last week, and let me tell you i could not be happier about it! i had been suffering from some serious vitamin d deprivation! summer is here!! hallelujah!
5. anyone know what to do with a garden? i have rhubarb, arugula and parsley growing like weeds - literally. we don't eat any of that stuff (the landlord planted it) but i'm pretty sure i should, i don't know, harvest it somehow? i'm so lost.
6. stay tuned for more adventures in gardening.
7. i have the cutest boys ever. yes, they are little rascals and have me saying "i'm going to go crazy!" all day long... but they are pretty dang cute. saves their hides daily.
8. do i sound cranky? dieting makes me cranky. which is why i usually don't do it. which is why i need to. but hey - i've run 9 miles already this week (after not running at all for like 5 months!) and lost 4 lbs. i'll take it!
9. my one year anniversary of Allora Handmade is about a month away. i can't believe what a crazy year it's been. i hit 400 sales on etsy last week! i've learned a lot, but man... i'm tired! i'm slowing down a little this summer so i can refocus on my family and my health.
10. i'm having a major hair dilemma. got it highlighted to cover the gray (yes, i'm that old) but the color RUINED my curls. i want to cry! and i now realize how spoiled i've been all these years not having to do my hair everyday. i want my curls back! but i'm afraid it's going to be curly gray hair or straight not gray hair. boo - hoo!!! what's your vote?
wanna see some wicked sweet hair?

oh, those curls! to.die.for.
peace.

love me some becky earl!

2010-04-09T10:43:00.001-06:00

remember the amazing and talented Becky Earl? the one who made me look like a rockstar? well, she's back at it, and today is hosting a giveaway for allora handmade on her blog.

oh, and you may find out why (once again) I am missing in action...
what, you've never heard of the queen bee market? well get with it! (can't keep up with me? me either...)

one year ago today!

2010-03-18T15:38:00.003-06:00

dearest henry boy,

one year ago today we met you for the first time...

mom was thinking: he's so white!

dad was thinking: yes! boys still outnumber the girls. (or just girl. that's me. flyin' solo.)

owen was thinking: awww man... he's gonna steal all my stuff, huh?

how did we ever live without you?
you have become part of us! our little family is somehow more complete with you here. we have come to love your happy disposition, your fearlessness, and that cute little dancing booty. you have us all wrapped around your little finger, and you are so easy to love.

and now look at you:

your personality cracks us up everyday. our little bulldozer, our hank the tank- you are certainly no baby anymore. your smile is infectious and your giggle is irresistible. those chubby cheeks are so smooshable and kissable and we just can't get enough of you!

this year has flown by so fast and even though you are a little rascal and get into everything, stop growing already! it's your job to stay the baby, ok?

we love you beautiful baby.

happy birthday, henry boy.

one year ago today...

2010-03-17T09:13:00.001-06:00

*** repost***

dear little one,

it's the day before your birth-day and i can't tell you how excited we are to meet you.

looking down at this big ol' belly of mine i can hardly believe that after all these months and all this anticipation, you are about to make your grand entrance into this world. i hope you are ready for the craziness that is being an erickson and that you are looking forward to getting to know your mom, dad, and brother (and the rest of the world that is waiting to know you).

i'm sure you're enjoying your last few hours of preparation - and we can't wait to feel of that spirit you are sure to bring with you straight from heaven.

we love you so much and anxiously await your arrival.

xoxo,

mom, dad, and big brother o.

can you believe that was one whole year ago?

we had no idea!!!

can you believe

2010-03-12T12:51:00.000-07:00

that this little hunk turns 1 in less than a week?
party planning in progress... sort of.

oh how i'm

2010-03-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

hoping for giveaway karma on this one.

the goods

2010-02-22T14:40:00.001-07:00

ok, ok, i know that at least 4 of my 5 readers don't give a care about anything i have to say, but just want to see pictures of my "ridiculously good-looking" children and hear about how wicked smart and talented they are. and so, i deliver:

granted, all of these pictures were taken all on the same day and about a month ago (turns out when you don't blog you don't take pictures either) BUT, i still love them because they are such a snapshot of our lives. owen and henry are just the cutest brothers. henry wants to be where owen is and owen wants to be where henry is. except of course when they don't. but you know - they get over it.

i absolutely love the stage owey is in right now. well, ok - there are days when being 2 isn't so grand, but all in all he is learning and growing so fast and i looooove to sit back and watch. he is speaking in full sentences that more often than not completely crack us up (like when he looked up at me mid-diaper-change and said "mom... this is the best day EVAR!!!" such a spaz.) he is such a smart little cookie and knows all of his letters by sight, what sound they make, and of course loves to sing his abc's. counting, not so much - he's pretty good up to about 8 and then who knows what you're gonna get. shapes, check! colors, check! still obsessed with cars, check! and though i may curse it one day, when mama needs to get something done (you know, like 250 items in 2 weeks), owey is all about spacing out in front of nick jr. he still loves to dance (i gotta feeling is the latest fave) and should you ever call me on the phone you may be lucky enough to get an owey serenade (currently his repertoire includes twinkle, twinkle, abc's, itsy bitsy spider, i am a child of god, wheels on the bus, and silent night. more to come, i'm sure.)

this is what owey does when you tell him to show you his happy face and i just go crazy for that little scrunched up nose. i think he actually learned it from henry who started doing that a few months ago. o still loves to read and color and would stay in his "jammas" all day if i would let him - which sometimes i do. because sometimes i stay in my jammas all day... why shouldn't he? bathtime is the best - and can be used for bribery to do any of the following: diaper change, eat dinner, clean up toys, vacuum, mow the lawn. just kidding about the last 2, but you get my drift. o thinks taking a bath is the bees knees. but owey will hear nothing of bathtime without henry, because that's just bo-ring.

speaking of henry, check out these locks:

if you didn't know before, now you do. our boys have some serious curly hair. this is how it looks just out of the bath, and while i love it, i'm not sure he'll be able to pull of the long look like o does. because henry may just have an afro. it was bound to happen. both his mom and dad sported one at some point. it is much tamer after sleeping on it and sometimes you would hardly know it's curly, but we know the truth. good thing i'm well versed in the language of curl. and his hair doesn't normally look like this either:

maybe i'll get a normal picture of him someday.

i mentioned forever ago that henry is our little walker baby. o walked early too, but we couldn't believe it when henry started really walking around christmas time. by the time new years came, he was a walker. crawling was for babies. but along with early walking comes some bumps and bruises: too little to understand that standing up underneath the table doesn't really work and doing it over and over, but big enough to stand up under the table and hurt himself over and over. poor kid. he is quite the giant as well - has been in 12-18 month clothes since november, is in the 97th percentile for height, and currently only weighs 5 lbs less than his big brother. my little baby's birthday is less than a month away and i am just dying to know where the last year has gone. it is INSANE how fast it has flown by. henry continues to be an absolute joy - the most social baby i've ever met. he will go to anyone and woos all with his heartbreaker smile. he loves everything big brother does - cars, books, bathtime, dancing and more cars.

love these 2 guys and i'm so glad they have each other. i promise i'll be better about pictures. pinky swear.

a photo essay in explanation of my non-blog-i-ness

2010-02-21T10:43:00.003-07:00

just when you think life is going to slow down...

ok, so the pictures don't even do it justice, but this is a sampling of what i've been burning the midnight oil for the past few weeks. i was asked last minute to supply 100+ items to shade clothing to be featured in 5 of their utah stores from mid february to may. super exciting opportunity, but it was a serious stretch to get it all done in time. i am also at the local patina market for the next few weeks, so all together i probably made 250 pieces. yikes! add to that the surprise 24 hour trip to LA for my niece's baptism, a week of watching my friend's 4 kids, all of us getting sick, sick, sick as dogs, and i'm pretty much pooped. in fact, i think i slept more yesterday than i had in the last 2 weeks combined. lets' pray that march isn't as crazy as january and february have been!

words cannot express...

2010-01-17T15:42:00.005-07:00

how incredibly grateful and overwhelmed I have been since early wednesday morning. my heart and my tearducts have been overflowing. when i decided to host a benefit for jonathan's birthday, i had no idea what i was in for. so much love, generosity, and support has been poured out in our direction that i am simply in awe. thank you.

thank you for making this week one of the best i have ever had.

thank you for helping little insignificant me do something truly amazing.

thank you for taking on a cause that may not impact your life daily, but certainly impacts the lives of those closest to me.

thank you for your friendship and for your encouragement.

when i started allora handmade, i had no idea what a blessing it would be and i am so thankful for the opportunity to give in a way that was otherwise impossible.

do you want to hear what we did this week? drumroll please....

with your help, we raised over $1300 for Autism Speaks.

can you believe it? i know. AWESOME.

my sister has been in tears. what a blessing for her to feel supported through you in one of the biggest challenges she has ever had to face. and though J may not know of your willingness to contribute to a cause that will affect his life, his family will. so, thank you.

i can't think of a better way to start off the year. i feel as though my heart has been changed, and my mind has been opened to the possibilities that are out there as long as i am up for the challenge. i hope that 2010 will be a year of change and growth and giving. i know that it will be an amazing year if i can learn to look outward instead of inward and give more of myself, my time, and my talents.

thank you. thank you. thank you for making that possible. those words just don't do it justice!!

Happy Birthday Jonathan! well, a day early...

2010-01-13T01:00:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! I am so excited to announce a really cool benefit going on in my shop today through friday.

I love how December is so full of the spirit of giving. The feelings I had this season have helped me to make a goal in 2010 to give more: of myself, of my time, of my talents, and my resources. My first opportunity starts today! January 14th is my nephew, Jonathan's 10th birthday. He was diagnosed 8 years ago with Autism, and that diagnosis has drastically changed the life of my sister and all the rest of our family - in so many ways.

Every Christmas and birthday I struggle with what to get him that he will really enjoy. Since buying gifts for Jonathan is so difficult, this year for his birthday I am having an Autism Awareness benefit sale in my shop. The shop is loaded up, and from today, January 13th through Friday the 15th, I will donate 100% of the proceeds toAutism Speaks. I figure the best gift I can give him (and his family) is a chunk of change to help solve the puzzle that is autism. If you'd rather donate directly to Autism Speaks, go for it! Every penny helps!

Here is where I need your help. I would love to shout it from the rooftops, but my corner of the blogosphere is only so big. If you are willing to post about the benefit and the opportunity to help out my nephew and millions of others (the statistic is now 1 in 70 boys are diagnosed with autism in the U.S.) I would greatly appreciate it.

Here are the details:

100 % of the proceeds for the 13th, 14th, and 15th will go to Austim Speaks
For every $10 you spend in the shop, you will be entered to win $40 towards a purchase at Allora Handmade ( So, if you spend $50, that's 5 entries).
I will not be taking custom orders during the benefit so as to get purchases out the door as soon as possible.

I think that's all. If you have any questions, please let me know. It means so much to me to be able to use my time and talents to be able to give back to a cause that is so close to my heart.

So, if you've been dying to spoil yourself a little, or need a gift for someone else, now's the time - for a great cause! Guilt free shopping!

THANK YOU!

santa also brought...

2010-01-11T08:03:00.003-07:00

a new house! well, not our house, but you know - a new place to live. so, while i have every intention of blogging about a great christmas and all of my new years resolutions, the truth is, we moved. with 24 hours notice. and while i'm so excited about our new place, i'm all discombobulated. (that was a big word for 8am.) so, let me catch my breath for a minute and soon enough i will tell you all about:

henry the walking baby

christmas in the frigid north pole (i mean evanston)

the new digs

owen and henry get a bathtub (glory, glory hallelujah!)

all the things on my list for 2010

owen's ridiculously long hair that i can't bring myself to cut but i think i might have to

allora updates

and whatever else i feel like. it is my blog after all. (my 2 year old is rubbing off on me i guess.)

the LIGHT of the WORLD

2009-12-24T22:49:00.005-07:00

tears well up in my eyes as i think about all that Christmas means to me and what a joy it is to now share it with my boys. more than jingle bells and mom's cheese danish, new pajamas on christmas eve and cookies for santa, more than evergreen trees and pretty packages, Christmas is Christ.

strolling the grounds of temple square in salt lake with every limb and branch aglow took my breath away. though i have been there many times at Christmas, it was the first time i'd seen the magic of millions of lights through new eyes as a wife and as a mother. the illumination impressed me greatly. not only was it breathtaking and enough to make one giddy and drunk in the christmas spirit, its' symbolism has been burned into my heart.

Light in the darkness. He marked the path and led the way. your Light in the wilderness. He is the Light which lights every man. Light which cannot be hid. my Light and my salvation. let your light so shine before men. bring up your children in light and truth. I am come to light the world.

i love the knowledge that we can always have a beautifully lit path even through times of terrible darkness if we will but rely on He who is the true LIGHT of the WORLD. and teaching my children that will be my greatest endeavor on this earth.

may we all remember that His birth and His life gives us all a reason to celebrate every day of our lives.

wishing His love and His peace to you and yours this christmas.

xoxo, jess and fam.

"Christmas is more than trees and twinkling lights, more than toys and gifts and baubles of a hundred varieties. It is love. It is the love of the Son of God for all mankind. It reaches out beyond our power to comprehend. It is magnificent and beautiful. It is peace. It is the peace which comforts, which sustains, which blesses all who accept it. It is faith. It is faith in God and His Eternal Son. It is faith in His wondrous ways and message. It is faith in Him as our Redeemer and our Lord. We testify of His living reality. We testify of the divinity of His nature. In our times of grateful meditation, we acknowledge His priceless gift to us and pledge our love and faith. This is what Christmas is really about. " Gordon B. Hinckley

god is not dead, nor doth he sleep!

2009-12-18T16:29:00.004-07:00

soooo good. please take a minute to watch!

thanks to michelle for the link.

i'm dreaming... of a DIY christmas

2009-12-09T01:39:00.008-07:00

so, i know most of you dear readers aren't poor college students like we are, but we could all use a little extra cash around the holidays, right?

so, i present to you our grand-felted-diy-extravaganza-christmas!

we got rid of our disgustingly cheap fake christmas tree in the big move and don't ever get real ones because we are never actually home for christmas. that and the fact that my boys stick EVERYTHING in their mouths. i know henry would be pooping pine needles for weeks! what's that? too much information? sorry 'bout that.

so, we went with something a little different this year:

do you see it? over there in the right hand corner? (yes, i know the glider is covering it up) oh, you need a closer look? oh, alright:

that would be 2 dead(ish) trees from our back yard cemented into 2 large galvanized pots we had lying around. leftover lights, a few PLASTIC yet festive ornaments, and a few diy felt and rik-rak ornaments (tutorial here) and voila... a fun and festive (and CHEAP) tree alternative. total cost? about $8.

and the stockings? oh the stockings. i'm in love. must admit, i saw them on etsy and while i am totally a proponent of buying things on etsy (obviously) i knew that a) i didn't have enough time to order them and get them here in time to enjoy them and b) i have mounds and mounds of beautiful bright felt that was begging to be used up for such a project. so easy, so simple, so funky. and that's how i like it. total cost? $0

owey loves them too. see his hand waving madly at the o? yep. he's pretty excited that the green one is just for him.

after i finished the tree and the stockings something was missing. aaaah yes, another easy way to use up that felt. a re-usable christmas chain. i love the way it looks, and i can use it over and over again. and my sis even pointed out that since it isn't made out of traditional christmas colors i could use it to countdown for ANY holiday! brilliant!

just cut strips of felt and ironed on some velcro i had in my stash. total cost? $0.

and of course we had to complete the mantle with a nativity. this is actually one of the few nativities we could find in CA when we were first married (it's embarrassing how difficult it is to find christ centered christmas items there). it isn't anything fancy, not an heirloom for sure. but does it remind us what this holiday is really about? yes indeedy. and i love seeing owey learn about baby jesus and his miraculous birth.

and don't forget about diego...

and there you have it. a diy christmas. owey approves!

and mom, if you're wondering why i am not in bed at this insane hour... henry is cutting yet another tooth. yup, 3 at once. i have a feeling i won't be sleeping much this week.

jingle bells, batman smells.

2009-12-08T11:10:00.004-07:00

image found here
am sending out this year's christmas cheer complete with lovely picture of the erickson 4 (though getting o & h to both look at the camera AND smile, didn't happen this year. oh well. they're still cute.)

if you'd like to be on the nice list, send me your address asap to jessicamerickson(at)yahoo.com and i'll be sure your mailman delivers it with hot cocoa and candy canes. ok, maybe not the last part, but wouldn't that be nice?

don't you love december mail? me too! (hint, hint:)

in loving memory of fall... may she rest in peace.

2009-12-07T10:48:00.006-07:00

these pictures are old, but when i woke up to 2 inches of snow this morning, i had to pull them out to remind me of happier times...

so long fall. we'll miss you. desperately.

poor henry.

2009-11-18T01:00:00.002-07:00

i don't know how many times i've said that in the last 8 months. poor henry. yes, you heard that right - henry is 8 months today. can you believe it?

poor henry.

i was so diligent in posting all of owen's milestones back when i was a mom of one, wasn't trying to run a business and make sure no one dies before dad gets home. but if blogging was all you had to know of henry's sweet little life (which for some of you, it is!), you would think henry was only 4 months old. because that's the last time i did a henry post.

poor henry.

i have had good intentions. i have the pictures, and at one point or another i've composed each of those other 3 month's posts in my head. oh well. you win some, you lose some.

but oh dear henry.

want to see what a love he is these days?

couldn't you just eat him up? though things were certainly a bit less chaotic before he entered our world, i just can't imagine life without that smile.

or those big blue eyes.

henry is anxious to be a big boy like his brother- and as a result the poor guy falls so many times a day i just can't help but say "poor little henry" over and over again. he crawls like a mad man, but would be walking if he had his way. he climbs over and onto everything, pulls himself up onto anything (stable or not -- he has a war wound right now from trying to climb up a little empty trash can by my desk) and is about as determined as they come.

henry is our little bouncer- and this is how i find him every morning and at the end of every nap - bounce, bounce, bouncing away with that big ol' grin on his face.

henry is seriously growing out of 6-12 month clothes. yeah, we grow 'em big around here.

i love this stage. it is one of so much exploration and figuring things out. it is a social stage, and henry is the most social baby i have ever seen. in a room full of adoring people, he is happy as a clam. and though he rarely gets upset, it is usually because he just wants someone to stare at him and smile. oh henry, how i would love to be able to stare at you and smile all day every day!

i mean, wouldn't you!?

my dear henry, you are a gift. i love to imagine all the things you will accomplish in your life and all the joy you will bring to ours. you brighten my day in an instant and help remind me to stop and soak in the world around me. you bring me around to what is most important and you make me so grateful to have the privilege of being a mother. i love you with all that i am.

i survived.

2009-11-18T00:09:00.005-07:00

clint made my ice cream sandwich cake. sweet, huh? there were 30 of them...

so, i survived my 30th birthday. and to be honest, 30 feels no different than 29. guess i made a big fuss for no reason. sorry 'bout that.

thank you for all the bday wishes and advice, and i truly was spoiled this year (and am still celebrating actually!)

it was great to spend the weekend with family. festivities for clint's mom's 50th, halloween, and my 30th all in one weekend! squeeze in a little trip to the er in the middle of the night, and the weekend was complete. (owen wasn't breathing... nasty croup scared us half to death, but he was fine after a few hours.) anyhow... all in all, a good time.

the other night as we were lying in bed getting ready to fall asleep, clint cranked up this little tune on his ipod and let me soak it in for a minute:

think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years

Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many (root)beers
Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here ,In my next thirty years

gotta love timmy mcgraw. got me thinking. what about my next 30 years? i think i have accomplished much and learned a lot in my first 30 years. but what next? i haven't finished my list yet, but i'm working on it.

what about you?

what do you want to do in your next 30 years?

...by this author's husband

2009-11-01T00:01:00.000-06:00

My Thirty Loves... (in no particular order)

YOU!!!

your brown eyes, brown skin, and brown guts

your selflessness

your creativity

your efforts to cook, clean and (wo)man the home fort

your christlike love

your ever-enlarging heart

your ever-lasting patience with me

your bravery on our adventure so far

your ability to teach and engage with O and H

your tender mother-ly-ness

your california-ness

your incredible belief in me (crazy)

your concern for our family's health

your mad spelling skills

your intuition

your friendship magnetism

your loyalty

your entrepreneurial savvy-ness

your fashion sense and lack of bumped hair

your opinion

your hyperactive tear ducts

your consistent pursuit to be better

your (our) goal - all the way home

your forever forgiveness

your attempts to like what i like

your common sense

your help in EVERYTHING i do

your taste in husbands

the memory of our day in the sealing room

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

- Love your Loverly

the best thing

2009-10-31T18:00:00.005-06:00

by far the best thing i ever did in my twenties (and in all of my 30 years i guess) was this:

and this:

and this:

what an amazing season of life.

the answers.

2009-10-31T10:16:00.004-06:00

want to know why sometimes i seem a little insane?

1. how many countries did i visit in my 20's? 8
(england, france, italy, spain, argentina, tahiti, mexico, cayman islands. other fun trips in the good ole' usa - kauai, lake powell, key west, jackson hole)
2. what year did i graduate from byu? 2003
yes, i know that is 6 years after i graduated from high school, but with a mission in the middle and being in no rush to leave, that's the way it worked out.

3. how many roommates did i have? 30 (not including clint and the boys of course)
yes, 30. that includes 7 premish, 13 on the mission, 3 after at byu, and 7 in huntington beach. nuts.

4. how old was i when i got married? 25

5. how many cars did i drive in my 20's? 7
a few of which i wish i'd never laid eyes on. like this and this.

6. what was the longest i was in one place, and where was it? carmel valley
in the last 10 years, the longest i've been in one place was carmel valley. a whopping 15 months. i'm just a regular gypsy i tell you.

7. how many times did i move? 22
seriously. now you might understand why i hate moving so much.

8. how many full time jobs did i have?3
or 5 if you include being a mom and allora (believe me, they are both full time.!)

9. how long did clint and i date? 1 year

10. how many states did i live in?4
california, utah, wyoming, idaho (plus 3 provinces in argentina: mendoza, san juan and san luis)

yes, it's been quite a ride.

there was once a time when walmart was the staff of life.

2009-10-30T18:05:00.004-06:00

i once remember a friend in college saying that walmart was the staff of life. i thought she was nuts. having grown up a target kind of girl, you may as well have tried to convince me that the earth was flat rather than try and tell me that walmart could be anything close to the staff of life.
and then, there was argentina.
i served a mission for a year and a half in mendoza, argentina and for the first 9 months of that mission i was in an area where there was a walmart. and that.was.gold. rare commodities such as peanut butter, maple syrup, and even tortillas were only found at walmart and i was lucky enough to not have to go without. though in the 21 years of my life before my mission i had never cared for the place, there was something about those wide open aisles that felt like home.

(can you find me?)

the walmart in mendoza really has nothing to do with anything i experienced or learned in argentina, except for the fact that my desire to venture there weekly illustrates how completely upside down my world was at the time. everything was different, uncomfortable, hard, and new. yet, it was incredible, rewarding, happy, and life-changing. that year and a half in argentina has largely shaped me as a person. it is what i remember most about the first half of my twenties, even though now it seems like a dream. it is there that i learned that with change comes growth, with hardship comes joy, and that success usually lies just outside of your comfort zone. it is there that i learned the kind of wife and mother i want to be, the kind of man i want to marry, and the kind of instrument i want to be in god's hands.
it is there that i learned that walmart is not THAT bad. (don't get me wrong - would choose target over walmart any day of the week!)

did you know i lived in 2 more places that only had a walmart? any guesses?

a quizzle fo shizzle (again)

2009-10-30T00:11:00.003-06:00

let's just see how well you know me, or how much of my twenties you were a part of.

take a guess, I dare you:

1. how many countries did i visit in my 20's?

2. what year did i graduate from byu?

3. how many roommates did i have?

4. how old was i when i got married?

5. how many cars did i drive in my 20's?

6. what was the longest i was in one place, and where was it?

7. how many times did i move?

8. how many full time jobs did i have?

9. how long did clint and i date?

10. how many states did i live in?

this may just give you an idea of how crazy the past ten years have been...

real quick.

2009-10-29T08:01:00.002-06:00

sorry, no funny anecdote here.

just wanted to make sure that you, my beloved family and friends are in on the action.

would love it to go to you....

i once lived out of my car.

2009-10-28T10:42:00.003-06:00

yep. you read that right.

actually, it probably should say "more than once, i've lived out of my car."

aaahhh, the life of a 20 year old college vagabond.

you want the story? well, ok.

i started working as an efy counselor in the summers when i was 18. the summer of my 2oth year i decided that it would be silly to pay rent all summer if i was going to be in the dorms all week. all i needed was somewhere to crash for the weekend. oh, and somewhere to store all of my junk. hence, i lived out of my car.

i usually crashed on brooke's couch (thanks brookie!) or whoever else would take me in, and since efy was 5 days of hyper teenage girls that didn't sleep, i use the term "crash" rather literally. man i used to be able to survive on so little sleep back when i was a spring chick.

so, the living out of the car thing would not have been that bad really, except that i happened to drive what i referred to as "white trash" (an old white jeep cherokee) that may or may not have started every time i wanted it to. which meant that my portable closet/house/ was not so portable. the battery died so often (and yes, i replaced it more than once, and the alternator, and...) that i was on a first name basis with the AAA tow truck guys. once i asked the guy what i should do and his response? classic: "honestly? drive it off a cliff." perfect.

anyhow, being an efy counselor was such an incredibly rewarding experience and so much fun - definitely one of the highlights of my early twenties. living out of my car? not so much. apparently i didn't learn my lesson because i did it not once, but twice. glutton for punishment i suppose. but it makes for a good story, right?

wish i had pics for all these things... who knows where they are.

tune in to find out:

1. how many roommates i had from age 20-29

2. how many times i moved from age 20-29

3. how many cars i drove from age 20-29

and so, so, so much more. (more than you care to know- i guarantee it!)

so long, farewell

2009-10-27T16:30:00.005-06:00

(what is it with the sound of music these days?)

soooo... sunday marked the first day of the last week of my twenties.

how's that for dramatic?

don't get me wrong, birthdays are fun and all, but there have been certain milestones that i have not exactly appreciated - you know, when it comes to growing up.

like when i cried at the byu freshman ward halloween dance when they coincidentally played dancing queen (only 17...) because i was just about to turn 18. and i didn't want to be an adult. and like when i stressed out on my 25th birthday when my parents kindly reminded me that at 25, they were already done having kids. and i wasn't even married yet. (ok, i was ALMOST engaged, but still. not words you like to hear when you see your youth slipping through your fingers and you are sure your womb is shriveling by the day.) and so 30?

haven't been too excited about that one either.

sure, by now, i am married, have a degree, have 2 beautiful boys, and an exciting business. but i remember when my mom turned 30. and i remember my dad joking about her being "over the hill." he had to explain what that meant to me, and it made sense at the time. "oh yeah- like her life is half over and it's all down hill from here..." you know. because she was my mom. and because i was 5. and she was 30. but me? no way.

i mean, i haven't even gotten started yet!!

in preparation for this life-altering birthday milestone (did i mention i'm feeling dramatic today?) i thought i would spend this week reminiscing on my twenties. don't say i didn't warn ya.

and to all of you "older and wiser"s - any advice to ward off a mid-life crisis?

as if i didn't have enough to do

2009-10-24T22:27:00.002-06:00

i just started a new blog dedicated to allora handmade. you can find it here. check in to see what's new, what i do with my "spare" time (is there really such a thing?), and when and where to enter giveaways - including the one i'll be doing any day now to mark my 100th etsy sale! (91 as of right now... can't even believe it.)

giveaway!!

2009-10-23T11:54:00.003-06:00

hop on over to joy's hope for a giveaway by yours truly!! don't miss out :)

thanks girls.

2009-10-22T14:55:00.001-06:00

i really do appreciate your kind and thoughtful words. and though my whiney post was not written with the intention of boosting my ego, i thank you for giving me a bit to smile about and remember all that i have to be grateful for. and today i have a bit of a kick in my step. could be from my awesome friends. or it could be from these little devils:

which, by the way, if you lived closer i would totally be bringing over to your house right about now for being such a great friend. but you don't (dang it!) and i already ate all of the ones without chocolate chips. now what?
well, if i can't bring them over to you, i can at least give you the super duper easy deluxe recipe.
Ready?
spice cake mix
can of pumpkin (15 oz)
3 eggs
1/3 c. water
1/3 cup oil (i used applesauce - cuz i'm soooo healthy like that)

and feel free to add your chocolate of choice - or don't

then top it off with some cream cheese frosting and there goes the idea of being healthy. but it's soooo much yummier.

that's it. 350 degrees- 20 ish minutes - wham bam thank you maa'm.
and if you want to get all fancy, try it in a mug. i did. and i feel like martha.

now go make them for yourselves since i can't... i insist!

and thank you. again.

a little off balance.

2009-10-21T10:59:00.004-06:00

you know that feeling? the one where you have a book report due in 2 days and you haven't even started the book and you just can't even comprehend catching up to the point of being able to write anything slightly coherent and so you put it off a little more because you don't know where to begin? (though the obvious answer from frauline maria is to "start at the very beginning... a very good place to start!)

that's me. that's my blog.

i have fallen off the horse and can't seem to get back on. so many things to catch up on, so many emotions to spill, but somehow whenever i click on the magic little "new post" button i come up empty.

sure, time has a lot to do with it. most days i'm lucky if i even get a shower. (i know, gross. just be glad you don't live closer.) between 2 busy little boys, a busy husband, and a busy little business, i have fallen last on the list of priorities, and this little outlet has been left in the dust. but more than that, i have been fighting off my inner little wendy whiner, and instead of trying desperately to censor her words here in my little corner of the blogosphere, i have just stopped blogging altogether.

but that is problematic as well.

i miss it. i miss documenting my life. the good and the bad. i miss searching for meaning in the mundane. i miss the stewing of words and thoughts in my mind at all times and the melodic composition of them all. i miss the connection with friends and hearing every once in a while that i'm not the only one who has a bad day. i miss taking pictures and capturing my boys at this very stage that is so fleeting. i just miss it.

so, i will try again. though most of my life i have tried really hard to be optimistic and sunshine-y about all the details, i'm not really feeling it. maybe it is the bleak winter months ahead hanging over me like eeyore's little rain cloud, or maybe it is the stress that comes from trying to keep it all together and put on a happy face. i am hoping that as i again open up my thoughts and my heart here that i will be able to sort through and find more balance in motherhood, and in life in general.

some day i'll get my groove back.

i'm sure of it.

how am i so lucky?

2009-09-25T16:14:00.002-06:00

well, let me tell you a story.

a few months ago, one of my favorite local photographers put an ad out on her blog. i'd never met her, just admired her work from the safety of my computer monitor. she blogged saying that she was looking for models in the area to practice lighting on. i read the post, but didn't think twice about it. you know, 'cause i'm not a model.

my sister, however, emailed me the same day and said 'check this out! you have to do this!' and i thought - 'you're crazy. i'm not a model.'

well, my crazy sister didn't stop there - she contacted becky without my knowledge and volunteered me to be her model. she didn't tell me about it until after the fact when they'd already formed a plan to convince me to do this. miq assured me it would be great exposure formy shop and i reluctantly agreed to do it.

fast forward to wednesday. i was nauseous driving up the canyon just thinking about being in front of a camera by myself. but then, out jumped little becky earl - with the cutest little pregnant belly and a big hug. my fears and insecurities melted away as we started chatting and became fast friends.

a few hours later, i hopped into my car feeling like i had been blessed to be able to witness a seriously talented young photographer in her element. i couldn't believe how natural she was and how easy she made it for me. and really, i forgot all about the camera - and i think that is the key to why becky is just so dang good at what she does. i came home giddy to have found a new friend here in the area. one that is spunky, funny, creative, genuine, soooo nice, and a great mom. her pictures capture the essence of her subjects and i don't know what it is - she just has the golden touch.

so , i knew she was good, and then i found out she was also this super cool chick that i totally plan on hanging out with, but just imagine my awe when i saw this on my computer screen today:

seriously - who is that girl? she totally resembles the girl i see in the mirror every day (you know, when i actually shower and put makeup on)- EXCEPT WAAAAAY BETTER!

wow. now i know becky is a freaking genius. i refuse to post a bajillion pictures of myself on my blog, but if you want to see more of her amazing work, go here.

and please, if you are looking for a photographer for ANY occasion, look no further. except she's having a baby soon, so don't bug her. but after that, you know who to call.

THANK YOU BECKY!!!

tee.double-you.oh.

2009-09-25T09:00:00.000-06:00

in hawaii striking his best model pose

pardon the interruption. we break the regularly scheduled lack of blogging for an important announcement:

my. baby. is. two. TWO!

at farm country - thanksgiving point

ok, so technically he isn't THE baby anymore. but, he's my baby nonetheless, and today he crosses the line over into full-blown-toddlerhood.

his favorite toy after riding on a plane for 8 hours

i don't know how i went from feeling like i was holding the tiniest little human on the planet one day to wrestling and giggling with this crazy little wild-haired boy, but sure enough, it has happened. some days i just wish time would speed up - to be past the tantrums and out of diapers and able to communicate 100%. but then i realize this little boy will only be this little today. even tomorrow he will be a little bigger, a little older, a little smarter. and before i know it he'll be bigger than me (hopefully!!) and even less into snuggling than he is now.

wearing grammy's glasses

2 is a rough age. so much struggle for independence. so much lack of control. so much frustration. at the same time, it is so fun to see his eyes wide open to the world around him. owey is always pointing out the most ordinary things that are absolutely incredible and exciting in his little world. pulling up next to a trash truck or a school bus (which for some reason he calls goose-us even though he can say school and he can say bus, but put them together and it's goose-us) and you'd think he'd won the lottery. and a motorcycle? forget about it. the kid dies and goes to heaven. ants are the coolest thing ever (though many of them have died as a direct result of his curiosity) and give that kid a hose and he could entertain himself all day and all night.

in the crib with henry

as busy and stressed out as i sometimes am, i don't always cut owen enough slack. i hope that this year i can be better about relishing in the joys of being a child with him instead of begrudging the mess i am going to have to clean up. i want to learn together and explore and laugh! i want to be a better mother because, man, he deserves it!

helping mom with laundry - he got himself in there!

truth is, i simply can not imagine my life without this firecracker of a little boy i call my son. his smile is completely contagious, his energy is enviable, and his kisses are to die for.

happy birthday my dear sweet owen. i love you to the moon.

having a little too much fun with henry's toys

some favorites at 2:

cars, cars, big trucks, and more cars.

trains, helicopters, airplanes, well... anything that moves really.

animals and dinosaurs (and the sounds they make)

henry!

being tickled, thrown up in the air, wrestled, etc. i think we're going to have a thrill seeker on our hands.

lullabies at night (especially silent night) and the "goodnight eyes, goodnight nose..." book

giving mom kisses through the crib slats

beans, yogurt, craisins, cheese, blueberries, bananas, pancakes, spaghetti (or snakes as we call them)

any dr. seuss book

when dad comes home

yo gabba gabba and the backyardigans - oh, and recently sesame street

going to nursery

grandparents and cousins, aunts and uncles

dancing! particularly to "i've got a feeling," "shooting stars," and "rock island line"

coloring and puzzles

yelling "mom, mommy, mama," all day long

climbing into henry's crib

summer summary, parte dos

2009-09-04T14:57:00.005-06:00

since i am one of those terrible people that tends to skip through the recaps of other people's vacations, i will spare you all the details. no travelogue here! not only do i not have the energy (as sorting through the 1200+ pictures was draining enough), but i just don't care (which means you care even less!) what day we did what. all i care about is that this was absolutely one of the best trips i've ever been on.

and so, that is what i care to record.

KAUAI 2009, mendioroz family vacation

i love to travel. everything about it. from anticipating and packing to the hustle and bustle of the airport - the hotels, the food, i love it all. there is something so rich and liberating about immersing yourself in another world, even if for a short time. i feel very blessed that my parents have always seen the value in a good family vacation. i think some of my most vivid memories of my family are set in a cramped little car in some foreign country or playing cards until the late hours of the night on a cruise ship. it seems like through these trips we get the opportunity to get to know one another as friends instead of just family. and i love that.

sure, family trips aren't always perfect. there is sure to be some drama - someone is cranky, someone is sunburnt, someone wants to relax while someone else wants to be adventurous. but in the end, the smiles and laughter always outweigh any grumbles along the way.

when my parents set out to plan another trip, i was both really excited and really reluctant at the same time. sure, we want to go to Hawaii! but, with 2 little kids? that makes things a little more complicated. would i still love traveling as much as i had before i had to bring along diapers and bottles and toys and had to worry about naptimes and snacks and diaper rashes? but, having every intention of someday being able to show my kids the world like my parents have shown me , we jumped at the opportunity to spend a week in paradise with my family.

and. it.was.heaven.

here is why:

1) can you say g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s??!?!!

i have been to oahu and maui before, but kauai is a different world. i was absolutely smitten from day one and i fell more and more in love with th e island each day. there was something beautifully breathtaking around every corner and we could not get enough of it.

since clint just finished a nature photography cours e and had borrowed his dad's amazing camera for the trip, he was on cloud 9 with some of the most picturesque spots in the world. clint had never been to hawaii, and i pretty much told him he hit the jackpot on the first shot. kauai is completely stunning.

2) the island life

one of my favorite things about this trip was that we never really felt like tourists. sometimes you go on trips and there are a million people everywhere y ou go and swarms of cameras, and it just takes away the charm a little bit. but in princeville it just felt like i was one of the islanders. it is such a quaint town with the real old hawaii feel that made me want to never leave. really, i think i said a hundred times "let's just stay" or "can we live here?"

add to that the awesome time share location with the perfect amenities for our bunch and we really felt at home.

3) the company

though we've been married 4 1/2 years, clint and i have not been able to travel much. between penny pinching, school, and babies- we just don't get out much. so, it was a real treat to be in such an amazing place with my amazing man. i was excited to see his reaction to this side of the world and was even more excited that he was as taken with it as i was. that means we'll be back. right, babe?

i loved even more to be able to have my little ones there with me. sure, a vacation with kids isn't exactly a vacation. there are still diapers to change and mouths to feed, tantrums and middle of the night wake-ups and laundry, etc. but these little boys were in heaven.

owen could have been a local. the boy was black after the first day and i don't know if he ever really dried off the whole time. he just wanted water, water, sand, water, and more sand and water 24 hours a day. and lucky us, there was plenty of it to go around.

henry, good little henry, was a dream. always happy and smiley, content to be wherever we decided to venture- and so excited to spend time with my family - he was just so easy. and really, could he get any cuter?

and the rest of the fam? the cherry on top.

i almost get sick when i think of how much i miss being so close to them all. (don't get me started!) so, it was so much fun to watch them with my kids and to have some much needed family bonding time. i absolutely loved watching owen run to my parents squealing with delight every time he spotted them like he was seeing them for the first time in years. i loved watching miq's kids with mine and wished the cousins lived closer. i loved seeing owen get attached to my brother and realize that "unk t" and "auntie e" are pretty cool. i am so grateful we had this time to spend together!

ok. can we go back now?

if you ever go to kauai, be sure not to miss:

puka dogs (yummy, yummy island style hotdogs)

the na pali coast (by zodiac boat - bring your dramamine!)

ke e beach (great snorkeling)

hanalei bay and pier (beautiful views, kayaking and paddleboarding)

lappert's ice cream (the best in the world. i'm not joking.)

the lighthouse bistro (mmm... macadamian crusted chicken and bananas foster. need i say more?)

*** post edit*** Jessy reminded me... Bubba's burgers (must try the teryaki burger with pineapple. mmmm...)

the big one

2009-08-29T00:35:00.001-06:00

this one turns the big 3-0 today.

can't believe he's mine all mine.

i am one lucky girl.

happy birthday loverly.

i am so grateful for you.

thirty.

2009-08-29T00:30:00.001-06:00

summer summary (parte uno)

2009-08-27T07:47:00.004-06:00

the first of our real summer adventures was bear lake with the erickson crew. everyone else was there for a week, but since clint had school and we were camping with 2 babies, we were only there for a long weekend.

at one point i contemplated staying there by myself with the boys while clint went back to school. after the first night i quickly threw that idea out the tent window.

owen was thrilled to be with cousins, aunts and uncles, and of course grandma and grandpa. but the real kicker was all the water and sand you could ever ask for.

we really only got to spend one day at the beach, but our poor beach-starved souls soaked up every second of it. so, it's not exactly san diego, but we'll take it!

henry was as good as ever. (thank you bless-ed calm baby!) and as long as someone was there to smile at him, he was happy as a clam.

do these two look like brothers?

owen quickly turned 10 shades darker, and henry... well, let's just say that this brown mama doesn't quite know what to do with a little white boy. lots of sunscreen, lots of shade... two things i am not very farmiliar with when it comes to beach-going.

by the end of the weekend we were bummed to leave the beach and the fam, but the tantrums told us it was time to hit the road and get a good night's sleep.

because this is how owen slept:

we were just grateful that he actually fell asleep! with some coaxing of course... and hey, we weren't about to disturb his peaceful slumber.

henry was a bit better off i think:

and just for proof that there was some parental supervision, i give you clint:

turns out we didn't get the sunblock on him in time.

notice there is no photographic evidence that i was there. because me in a bathingsuit? not exactly a kodak moment.

besides, this little guy is much cuter.

thanks grandma and grandpa!

we're baaa-aaack...

2009-08-27T00:29:00.001-06:00

back from family vacation extraordinaire.
boo.
will be catching up on the old neglected blog soon. promise.

overwhelmed.

2009-07-29T09:56:00.005-06:00

pic courtesy of clint. did i mention he's taking a photography class? awesome.
so, i must admit that the lack of blogging has been mostly due to my feeling completely overwhelmed in the past few weeks. between a new baby, a new business, a half marathon coming up much too quickly, a busy toddler, and trying to sleep train henry, i have been a mess. it seems my plate is a little full. overflowing in fact. add to that the woes of a starving student, and i was halfway on my way to meltdown mode.
then came yesterday.
last minute i decided to send owen off to grandma and grandpa's in evanston for a few days so i could catch up on orders, sleep, housecleaning, and just breathe. not that i don't love the kid, but he requires a lot of attention and energy - both of which i was seriously lacking after 4 nights of letting henry cry it out. i feel so lucky to have inlaws who are willing to help out when i really need them.
i spoke to both my mom and sister was again filled with gratitude for their generosity, support, and for being the answer to my humblest prayers.
and the giveaway? oh my. i literally broke down in tears when i checked my email last night to find 5 items sold, 2 custom orders placed, and 119 comments - all beautifully praising my blood, sweat and tears. i could never have hoped for better results. thank you marta. i seriously owe you.
and so, i am still busy, and still a little stressed. but man, i feel good. overwhelmed, yes - but in a completely different way. i am so overwhelmed by the love and support that is all around me. and when i am feeling the lowest of lows and like i alone can not do any more - i am buoyed up by friends and family who have become God's instruments to help me know that He is there.
thank you.

don't miss out!

2009-07-28T08:11:00.003-06:00

am featured here today for a giveaway.
it ends tonight, so don't miss out!!

so much cuter as a boy....

2009-07-23T21:58:00.002-06:00

great pic taken by clint (can you see him in henry's eyes? i loooooove that!)

my little henry.
i'm sorry i put girly headbands on you.
i'll make it up to you when mama makes lotsa money.

at 4 months old you:

have the most beautifully expressive soul-blue eyes i've ever seen
love to smile and giggle
look at your mama with admiration and awe (which then makes me feel a little inadequate and nervous to live up to your expectations of me!)
are a little rollie pollie and spin 360s on the ground
loooove your big brother and your dada
have the happiest disposition - unless you're hungry - then watch out!!
want to be sitting up all the time
are discovering how good your fingers taste
are a total cuddle bug and snuggle up to your blankie (mostly over your face) to sleep
still wake up every 3 hours at night (curses!!)
are very ticklish and think getting dressed or getting your diaper changed is just about the funniest thing ever
go anywhere and everywhere without complaint
camp like a champ
have the softest pale-est skin (that i don't know what to do with in the summer! sunburn-able skin is new to me!!)
have won over many hearts as the best behaved baby around
have super strong legs and love to stand up (with help of course)
have managed to get us all wrapped around your chubby little fingers!

we love you and are so glad you are part of our family:)

i finally gave in.

2009-07-13T06:30:00.001-06:00

after much debate and years of insisting i wouldn't do it, i finally gave in.

introducing:

today marks the grand opening of allora handmade on etsy! i have been a busy little bee trying to get things together and have had so much fun designing and creating things that i really love.
i always thought that making things for strangers or to get paid would stifle my creativity and would take the love out of it - but ironically i have felt more inspired and excited about allora than i could have ever imagined. i have more ideas than my little hands can keep up with, and am really pumped to get them out into the big bad world.
this week, my sister will be hosting a giveaway on 30 handmade days for allora. be sure to check it out and get in on the action! (look for a discount code as well.)
as scary as it is to put myself out there and hope that people like my products enough to buy them, i am excited for this new challenging adventure.
i will be updating the shop all throughout the week and i am also accepting custom orders. here's a little sneak peek:

i look forward to your feedback!
p.s. - you might recognize one of the models.... please don't tease him when he's 15!

i'm famous.... somewhere...?!

2009-07-11T15:42:00.001-06:00

anyone have any idea what language this is??

kinda weird, but kinda cool...
and on that note - be sure to be tuned in on monday for a big surprise!

commit me

2009-06-28T21:47:00.004-06:00

as in, i'm a crazy woman.

sooooo.... before henry was born i signed up for this. realizing full well that i would only have 4 and a half months from the day henry was born until race day, i knew that if i didn't sign up before my stomach was sliced wide open and sewn back together and before i was suffering from serious sleep deprivation, i would never do something so seriously delusional.
but wait, you say. haven't you done this before?
apparently i'm glutton for punishment.
remember this? just last year? (which by the way seems like it was like 3 years ago) remember how much i fell in love with running? remember how i reached my goal weight? remember how i ended up conning 5 other people to join me? remember how i hurt my knee in the race and hadn't run more than like 3 miles since that day?
well, i was sure that the only way to get back in shape after baby # 2 was to have a goal and a commitment. that's right. commit me to something, and i WILL do it. even if it means training for a half in half the time.
i started running the day henry turned 6 weeks old. again - i hadn't run at all since i found out i was pregnant - so i was a little rusty, to say the least. i have not been nearly as psychotic about sticking to my running schedule as i was last year, and i think a lot of that has to do with the fact that last year my baby was already sleeping through the night when i started. henry? not so much.
up to this point, i had not yet really caught that fire that i felt last year. i haven't been super excited to hit the road and hadn't felt that same sense of accomplishment that i did each time i ran. in writing this post i have gone back to some of my old posts from the running blog and it has gotten me super pumped to go and change my life once again. and maybe i cried a little bit. maybe.
yesterday i ran 6 miles in the canyon and was able to catch up on life with a good friend at the same time. so, she may have thought she was going to die or at least puke, (she did neither, by the way), but we made it and i got such a rush when we were done. and bringing out that inner cheerleader in me (no- i was never a cheerleader, but you know what i mean) really gets me excited about what i am doing.
so, d-day is 6 weeks away. i'm looking forward to another something to be proud of. because, let's be honest - every mom (especially of babies) needs to be able to pat herself on the back every once in a while.

anyone else going to be in provo on august 8th and feel like taking a nice little 13.1 mile jog with me? you know you want to....

boredom + poor-dom =

2009-06-26T11:00:00.000-06:00

ingenuity! (that's the word i was looking for!)
was feeling deprived of cute clothes.
had the itch to sew and to take advantage of some adorable scraps i inherited from carlie.
started with some old plain cardigans that i never wear and here's what i came up with:

this one is clint's favorite. tweet tweet.

and i'm a tiny bit in love with this one:

total cost? $3. the orange sweater was found at a thrift store for 3 big ones.
what do you think?
are you a re-fashionista?

B.O.Y.

2009-06-26T09:59:00.002-06:00

B is for BONK!

O is for OUCH!

Y is for YIKES!

(all within the last two days, mind you!

oh what do you do in the summertime...

2009-06-25T08:00:00.001-06:00

when all the world is raining with thunderstorms and flash-flood warningsssss?
wait, that's not how the song goes?
well, the sun is finally out, thank goodness, but the first few weeks of what i would normally consider to be summer were a total bust. (although remember this last june? curse you rexburg, hallelujiah orem!)
here's how we've waited for and welcomed in our sunny season friend:

bike rides with dad... whenever the skies clear up and clint can spare a minute he takes o out on the town. i just love the way he looks in that helmet. soooo funny.

owen has been working on his first art installation. on our front door. look out jackson pollock. though he prefers the colored pencil medium. (and the glorious magic eraser to clean up.) yes, owen is in his pajamas in these first 3 pictures. don't you judge me.

(look- there's henry on the right!)

white-trash-watching/ fair-food-eating --- er... i mean... going to the orem summerfest. why is it that the strangest people come out of the woodworks when the carnies come to town with all of their assembled-in-one-afternoon-death-defying (literally) rides, fried food and chachkies (miq, how do you spell chachkies?) to sell? the pride of orem, i tell you what.

i have been keeping busy with a new obsession of mine... i bet you can't wait for me to tell you what that might be. well, you're gonna have to. i'm not ready to divulge my latest genius-ness. (that's not a word. what is the right word? i think i get dumber by the day.... sigh.)

a few shout outs

2009-06-24T16:28:00.006-06:00

ok, a little late, but better late than never, right?
happy late birthday to the mom who deserves a gazillion trillion wishes granted after putting up with me as a teenager...

happy late father's day to the dad who deserves a gazillion trillion days off for putting up with my mom while putting up with me as a teenager...

happy late father's day to the husband who deserves a million trillion kisses and should be thankful he never knew me as a teenager...

and happy 3 months t0 the little boy who will be spoiled rotten so long as he never acts like i did as a teenager!

answer key:

2009-06-16T22:02:00.002-06:00

very impressive indeed.
here you have it...
1. open it
2. lunch
3. whoa... it's a big one!
4. hi henry!
5. i want... this.
6. thank you
7. hungry
8. teeth
9. carlie and max (my friend and her son)
10. goodnight... i love you

thanks for playing! you are officially fluent in owenese. one thousand points.

a-ha.

2009-06-15T15:10:00.007-06:00

do you ever find yourself just sort of coasting through through your daily life and not really paying attention to what you are doing? i have been doing that a lot lately - maybe it is the lack of sleep or the groundhog day feeling of having two little ones at home, but yesterday i had an a-ha moment.
clint and i teach the marriage and family sunday school class at church. the class is made up of mostly newlywed couples, few have children, most do not. we really enjoy teaching together and i feel like i am learning more from it myself than i could ever possibly share with the members of the class. yesterday the lesson was one that i could barely get through - "the sacred role
of mothers."
after reading this talk a few times, i felt so humbled and grateful for this important work that i am in the middle of. those of you who are moms, i hope this provides the kind of refreshment for you as it did for me. those of you who are not yet moms, surely you know someone who is and could use a few words of encouragement:

"One young mother wrote to me recently that her anxiety tended to come on three fronts. One was that whenever she heard talks on LDS motherhood, she worried because she felt she didn’t measure up or somehow wasn’t going to be equal to the task. Secondly, she felt like the world expected her to teach her children reading, writing, interior design, Latin, calculus, and the Internet—all before the baby said something terribly ordinary, like “goo goo.” Thirdly, she often felt people were sometimes patronizing, almost always without meaning to be, because the advice she got or even the compliments she received seemed to reflect nothing of the mental investment, the spiritual and emotional exertion, the long-night, long-day, stretched-to-the-limit demands that sometimes are required in trying to be and wanting to be the mother God hopes she will be.

But one thing, she said, keeps her going: “Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work. I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal partnership with Him. I am deeply moved that God finds His ultimate purpose and meaning in being a parent, even if some of His children make Him weep.

“It is this realization,” she says, “that I try to recall on those inevitably difficult days when all of this can be a bit overwhelming. Maybe it is precisely our inability and anxiousness that urge us to reach out to Him and enhance His ability to reach back to us. Maybe He secretly hopes we will plead for His help. Then, I believe, He can teach these children directly, through us, but with no resistance offered. I like that idea,” she concludes. “It gives me hope. If I can be right before my Father in Heaven, perhaps His guidance to our children can be unimpeded,” she said, “and maybe then it can be His work and His glory in a very literal sense.”

In light of that kind of expression, it is clear that some of those Rhode Island–sized (under-eye) shadows come not just from diapers and carpooling but from at least a few sleepless nights spent searching the soul, seeking earnestly for the capacity to raise these children to be what God wants them to be. Moved by that kind of devotion and determination, may I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the circle of the omniscient. If you and your husband will strive to love God and live the gospel yourselves; if you will plead for that guidance and comfort of the Holy Spirit promised to the faithful; if you will go to the temple to both make and claim the promises of the most sacred covenants a woman or man can make in this world; if you will show others, including your children, the same caring, compassionate, forgiving heart you want heaven to show you; if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do." (Jeffrey R. Holland, Because She is a Mother)

i hope all of you moms know how important you are and what a great work you are doing!

seriously?

2009-06-14T15:13:00.000-06:00

no one speaks owenese? not even a guess?

do you speak owenese?

2009-06-12T11:00:00.000-06:00

owey has been talking sooo much lately and even started stringing words together recently. but, you all know he is a professional jibber-jabberer, so it isn't always easy to figure out what he's talking about. he really has his own language - mostly baby talk with a real english word (or the remnants of one) every fifth word or so. i call it owenese.
any guesses?
1. a-pent
2. munch
3. whoaaa... tsa beeeg one!
4. hi unra!
5. iuuunt... dis.
6. ank-ooo
7. hungeee (or sometimes it turns into honkeeee)
8. teeef
9. careee n masksx
10. nigh... uv ooooo

he also has plenty of actual understandable words he's added to his repertoire lately too: ouch, mama (finally he calls me mama), monkey, blueberry, bum, home, mess, drink, milk, pig, birdie, big, blue, black, whoa! (he says this all the time), chips, all done, all gone, cookie, cake (see what i mean about the love for junk food?!), paper, help, blanket, and he recently picked up DON'T (and believe you me - he yells it - in all capitals) ... and many more... that's all i can think of right now.

mr. blue eyes.

2009-06-11T15:36:00.000-06:00

can you believe i have a blue-eyed boy? oh i just melt everytime he looks at me. i think i can stop having kids now that i have those big baby blues! well, maybe not, but they certainly will hold me over for a while!
henry is growing up so fast. i swear it was just yesterday that he was absolutely swimming in every piece of clothing he owned - and nowadays he's about to burst out of some of those 0-3 month outfits. he continues to be the most pleasant baby in the world and i get such a kick out of making him smile. he certainly is not selfish with that show-stopping grin of his, and i am so grateful!
so far having 2 kids has been easier than i thought in a lot of ways, and that is mostly because of this little chill, laid back dude. what a tender mercy you are little henry!

brothers.

2009-06-10T17:00:00.000-06:00

p.s. i forget who and when, but someone asked about these collages? so super easy you are gonna kick yourself that you didn't know sooner. it's google's picture program, picassa. google it, download it, a super easy way to store your photos, do very basic edits, collages, text on photos, and even upload pictures directly to blogger. check it out.

random randomness

2009-06-09T21:00:00.000-06:00

ok, here are a bunch of random pictures that are totally out of order and not the greatest quality (we have such terrible lighting in our house!) but oh well. here you have it:

henry and his namesake (middle name that is). my dad came into town for a quick business trip and the kids were excited to see their papa.

owen feeding himself yogurt. i don't know why we ever even bother getting this kid dressed - we have to change him every time he eats!

owey's newest obsession: "sks" which means music in owenese. he loves rocking out to the tunes on my shuffle. the kid can dance!

these are from like 2 months ago, but i just had to throw them in there because i can't believe how big henry has gotten! don't mind the crazy face... he really does love grandma.

usually a very happy kid, but even when he's sad he is stinking cute. (notice the dimple!?!)

talking to grandpa

finally some pictures from henry's blessing. i am really bummed that we didn't get any of henry by himself in his sweet white outfit, but at least we got a few with the fam.

henry and mama. and t and e chowing in the background.

this is when henry was like 2 weeks old... do we all look a little sleep deprived, or is it just me?

owey loves to read to his baby brother.

peaceful little henry.

owey in a cage. too bad we can't keep him there. just kidding! he loves climbing into diego's cage but kind of freaks out when he can't figure how to get back out. i know the picture is really blurry, but i think it's hysterical.

$500 an hour

2009-06-07T15:00:00.000-06:00

thursday night clint and i attended a dinner in salt lake hosted by the society of petroleum engineers of utah.
why, oh why would we ever do such a thing?
because clint was their guest of honor as the chosen 2009-2010 recipient of a juicy scholarship. su-weeeet.
so, first let me brag about clint. with 3 times as many applicants for the scholarship as previous years, he still came out on top. he has worked so hard to get great grades and he totally deserves the recognition and the reward. besides that, i think they took pity on us for being back in school a little late in the game and with kids to boot. hey, i'll take pity if it comes in the form of a cash scholarship!
the night was pretty funny actually. we left the kids with my aunt (thanks cox family!) and headed off to ute territory. as we made our way into the banquet room at the marriott, we had no idea what to expect. the first hour of the dinner was a "social hour" - which if you know any engineers, is a joke in itself. (sorry, but true!) adding to that the fact that we didn't know anyone made for an interesting night. dinner was yummy and then things took a turn for the worse. a keynote speaker. uggh..
i now know more than i ever, ever, ever wanted to know about the history of gas and oil in utah. seriously. the guy talked for an hour and 45 minutes - complete with black and white slides. (see example above.) i was mostly concerned with getting home to the kids super late (i thought we would be back by 9, and he was still rambling by then.) we just had to keep reminding ourselves that we could sit through a few hours of pretty much anything for a scholarship.
so, although we weren't prepared to spend 4 hours for this dinner, when you think about it, $500 an hour isn't too shabby!

sometimes i like utah.

2009-06-06T16:04:00.003-06:00

though most days i'd rather be on the beach, sometimes a trip to the canyon leaves me grateful to live in such a beautiful place (at least for half of the year...)
a few weeks ago we decided to take a little hike (more like a casual stroll) up to bridal veil falls. it was a perfectly sunny day and i was just happy to spend the afternoon with my boys.

don't worry- we didn't leave henry behind... he was just too cozy to get in on the family photo:

owen and dad by the river... i am pretty sure it was the first time owey had ever seen a river - and he was about as fascinated by it as he is with everything else water - the beach, the pool, the bath, diego's water dish... you know.

i love this picture. the falls don't look that big until you see owey and clint down in the bottom right corner. owen would have been content to stay and play in that run-off all day!

and this is my favorite pic of the day:

give this boy a stick and let him run loose... the perfect recipe for one happy little guy!

on days like this, i can do utah... for now.

henry has a girlfriend.

2009-05-25T22:45:00.007-06:00

remember owey's girlfriend audra? well, just so happens audra's little sister sadie mae (cutest name ever?!?) was born on saturday and doesn't know yet that she too is betrothed... henry can't wait to meet her! (us too!)
and guess who made her cute blanket? almost made me want a girl. almost. (not for a looooong time.)
here's another look:

i actually made it all out of scraps and some minky for the back.
and then i had to whip up these babies...

mary janes are to die for. just sayin'.

henry and sadie sittin' in a tree...

progress report.

2009-05-25T22:23:00.005-06:00

food.
it's a love hate relationship.
thanks for all the advice - i thought i'd document the progress (baby steps) we've made around here.
first, i guess i should clarify. it's not that owen doesn't like to eat. in fact, he LOVES to eat. he would eat all the live long day if i would let him. the biggest problem is that he wants to eat what he wants to eat and when he wants to eat it - which presents many problems. for instance: he is totally addicted to raspberries and strawberries and would eat so many that he would get a gnarly diaper rash... now i just don't even buy them because every time i opened the fridge it would turn into a fight. he doesn't get the whole 'all things in moderation' thing and completely doesn't understand the link between the owee bummy and the berries. same thing with beans (see photographic proof above.) so, i'm just trying to figure out how we can both be happy.
i'm starting small here, so my first 4 goals that i have implemented this week are:
1) something green on his plate for lunch and dinner (even if he doesn't touch it for now... i can't force him to eat it, but i can give him the option)
2) a good healthy breakfast (this really is his biggest and best meal of the day - usually a whole banana, a few handfuls of blueberries, some mandarin oranges, and some cheerios. maybe even yogurt too if he's really hungry. seriously - there is no way this kid's stomach is the size of his fist because he can really pound it when he wants to.)
3) he eats what we eat for dinner. so far he has probably gone to bed pretty hungry because he's not really buying it, but this really helps with my sanity if i'm not trying to cook dinner for us and then figure out what in the world he might possibly eat.
4) stop stressing. after reading up online and getting all of your comments i have realized that owey is just a normal toddler. phew.

if you are having some of the same issues and want a good resource i highly recommend this website. super informative and helpful.

alright. here's hoping for more progress!

2 months

2009-05-18T07:37:00.001-06:00

henry, henry.
2 months old? seriously? wasn't it just yesterday that i was counting down the days until you arrived?
it's funny how you fit so perfectly into our family and until you were born we had no idea what we were missing out on. you are such a beautiful, happy boy, and i just can't get enough of you.
i am so anxious to learn more about you and see what you'll become. so far you have proven to be patient and calm, and heaven knows we could use more of that around here!
i looooove listening to your little smiley coos and watching you drift off to sleep. you are already getting too long for some of your 0-3 month clothes, and that seems impossible to me! no more growing up! you love your brother as much as he adores you and nothing warms my heart more than seeing you grin that toothless grin up at him.
thanks for coming to our family - we love you sooo much!
i'm looking forward to a fun and adventurous summer with my boys!

please, please, please tell me someone has the answers....

2009-05-15T18:37:00.002-06:00

so, as it turns out, my toddler didn't come with an instruction manual.
and i need help. for reals.
i know, you are shocked. up until now you thought owey was perfect in every way. well, he is - mostly. there's just one thing...

anyone have the magic solution to major eating problems (as in throw a tantrum about food 500 times a day - only wanting snack foods and never actually eating a real meal....)??
we are frustrated not knowing how to reason with an unreasonable little boy.
do i:
a) dejunk the whole house. no snacks. eventually he'll be hungry enough to eat something, right?
b) decide not to fight this battle - soon enough we will be able to communicate better and we can tackle it then.
c) try and reason with him and continue this tantrum cycle as is, hoping that if we are consistent enough eventually he'll get it.
d) none of the above. (please offer any alternative suggestion before i pull my hair out!)

in effort to help with the communication i have made a little picture book of all of the foods available so that he can show me what it is that he wants. works out great for communicating, however, i think yesterday he had like 6 slices of cheddar cheese and not much else.

i want to be a good mom and raise a healthy, happy child! how can i maintain my sanity without turning him into a spoiled, demanding little monster?

please tell me you have the answer...?!

still alive. barely.

2009-05-12T15:01:00.006-06:00

i know, i know. it's been like a gajillion years since i've posted anything and you are all dying to see some new pictures of my beautiful boys and can hardly stand another day of not knowing what is going on in our fabulously exotic lives. (humor me.)
poop.
spit up.
tantrums.
you get the point.
it's a party 'round the clock in the erickson household.
in all seriousness, we have had some adventures in the past few weeks that are blogworthy, but i, unfortunately lack the steam to make them sound exciting or even to take pictures of them in the process. i know, bad blogger. bad, bad, bad blogger. (forgive me.)
so, this little rundown will have to do, and i will try and come up for air more often to keep all 5 of you readers entertained. beware- i'm feeling kind of snarky today. (don't say i didn't warn you!)

CALIFORNIA:
clint had a few days off school and we decided "let's go to california!" because- what else would you want to do with an 18 month old and a 5 week old?! doesn't an 11 hour car trip sound like the perfect thing? actually - the boys did really well all things considered. i spent most of the car ride both ways with my big post-pregnancy butt wedged between the two carseats feeding one or entertaining the other. man, i'm a nice mom. and this is where i bear my testimony about portable dvd players. serioulsy. i know they are true. amen.
we had a great weekend with family and friends (all too quick, of course) and even though it was overcast most of the weekend, we still managed to hit the beach twice and avoid the snow/hail/rain storm that pounded utah county while we were gone.
as i said, i only took a few pictures - you guessed it - owey at the beach.

BLESSING:
at the beginning of this month we blessed henry. it was awesome to have so many of our family members close enough to come and so many that went the distance to be here as well.
i spent most of the weekend with my parents and bro and sis-in-law and tried desperately to fool them into believing i had everything under control with 2 kids. pretty sure they didn't buy it.

owey had meltdown after meltdown (why did the terrible two's come 6 months early?) and i just tried to hold it all together. sunday we filled up about 5 rows at church and afterwards we had a little lunch for everyone (the heavens opened and the rain cleared up for a few hours for us to go to the park since our house is a little small for a crowd of 50+.) by sunday evening we were so exhausted and i was ready to have my house back, but as soon as everyone left i was so sad. i miss my family so much and it was awesome to have most of them there. (missed you provosts!) of course, i have no pictures - but as soon as i get them from clint's dad...
the actual blessing was beautiful. have i ever told you how grateful i am that clint is these kid's dad? i am.

OWEN:

as i alluded to, owey is in a bit of a phase (let's hope that's what this is.) some days he's an angel. some days he just loses it. i think it's a combination of a lot of things, but mostly just that he wants what he wants and can't communicate much of that. he is picking up a ton of words and i feel like he has learned sooo much even in the past 2 weeks or so, but his vocabulary has not even come close to catching up to his list of demands. his hair is out of control (gotta love the curls), he's growing like a weed (still in the 95th percentile for height) and is still obsessed with fruit (though getting him to eat much else is WWIII.) one thing i am loving is how much he loves to read, make animal noises, and match colors. he really is a smart boy. too smart for his own good sometimes, i tell ya.

HENRY:

i can't believe we are coming up on 2 months here - time has just flown by! henry continues to be a really good baby. he is generally very happy and calm. he still isn't sleeping that well at night, but i am trying to be patient about it. poor kid is learning to deal with his overly-affectionate brother trying to smother him, and his mom just trying to do the best she can. the past few weeks he has really started to show off that heart-breaker smile of his, but of course, i have no photographic evidence to prove it. i tried to catch a few grins today - but none of these pictures do it justice.

there. does that satisfy your need for all things erickson?
phew. i'm out of breath.

hurry, quick!

2009-04-29T19:50:00.003-06:00

before i tell you about our crazy road trip to california for the weekend, you have to hurry quick over to michelle's blog... but prepare yourself for some of the most amazing pictures you have ever seen. (ok, so i am maybe just a little bit biased... maybe.) oh i just can't stop drooling over every last one of them! like this for example:

i know!!

and this:

seriously!

ok, now hurry over there, because there are too many incredible shots to share.
michelle, have i told you lately how much i love you? and your camera?

p.s. did you see that owey is famous?

curls!

2009-04-21T21:17:00.000-06:00

looks like we have another curly-haired monster on our hands... love it!!

and this, my friends, is why i love blogging.

2009-04-18T13:13:00.004-06:00

1) did you all happen to read the comments on the "do-over"post? if not, i highly recommend it. no, really. stop and go there now. you won't regret it. i have some amazing friends, you see. (that would be you, and you, and you over there in the corner.) i am so grateful for your words of wisdom, encouragement, and love. i feel like i've learned so much about myself and about motherhood in the past month and i thank you for adding to that knowledge and opening up my mind and heart even more.
2) i had my first ever "i-know-you-from-your-blog-but-not-in-real-life" meeting experience a few weeks ago. michelle came over to take our family pictures (more about that later) and i have been thinking ever since how cool it is that i now have a friend who is not only super talented and generous, but an awesome mom of 6 and a phenomenal writer. someone i probably never would have crossed paths otherwise, but whose written words and example have impacted my life.
3) in said rendevouz, michelle said in passing that being at my house with my 2 boys reminded her of that time in her life. we quickly commented about how hard it is and she mentioned that it can be a lonely time in life and then the conversation shifted elsewhere. afterwards i reflected and realized that although this time in life isn't easy, i don't feel lonely. i certainly could. i really only have 1 friend here and a few aunts and uncles. but thanks to you, lovely internets, i feel connected to friends and family daily. 10 years ago i am sure i would have felt very lonely with no interaction outside of my kids. what a blessing.
4) ok, you want to see the pictures? michelle sent a few as a sneak peek, and i can't keep them to myself any longer...

i know. awesome huh? oh, how i love blogging.
(thanks michelle!) here's her photography website...

p.s. if you are reading this through a feed, be sure to check out the new blog design courtesy of the hubby. i know- he rocks, huh?

one month.

2009-04-18T07:52:00.004-06:00

dear henry,
we are so glad you are part of our family! we know, it's been a little bit crazy around here - but you'll get used to it! we can't believe it has already been a month since you came to our home - how time flies when you're having fun...
your patience and mild manner have proven to be such a blessing to us. your brother loves you to pieces and in time i'm sure you'll get over the fact that he tries to lay on you or smother you with cpr kisses. i love your soulful eyes and your serious stare - makes me wonder about all that you know and just can't say. your dad and i can hardly believe we have two boys and we just can't wait to see more of your little personality come through.
we love love love you little henry.
xoxo,
mom, dad, and owey o.

do-over.

2009-04-17T15:37:00.003-06:00

can i have a do-over?
i read and re-read and re-read my "moments" post from the other day before publishing it. and then yesterday i looked it over again and wanted to smack myself.
i remember a few years ago when the whole getting pregnant thing just wasn't working out. after months of heartbreak (and not telling anyone about it) i felt ready to self-destruct. could it be possible that this would be my burden in life? wanting to be a mom more than anything and not being able to fulfill that dream? one of the hardest things about being in that situation was seeing moms who simply didn't appreciate what a priceless gift they had. they complained about their kids and what a pain they were. they were envious of my "freedom." they seemed to forget about the fact that they had at one point wanted to have children and now could only see what an inconvenience being a mom was. it was in situations such as those that it took everything out of me to not yell and scream and shake them and get them to wake up and realize that i would do anything to be in their shoes. it just didn't seem fair.
and then, miracle of miracles, owey came along. it seemed too good to be true, and i promised myself i would never be one of those moms. that i would be more sensitive to those around me who may be struggling. that i would remember every day how much i wanted this baby and act accordingly.
since it took so long to get #1, we were taken aback by the news of #2. a shock, but a blessing. i had been emotionally preparing myself for another long road to have a brother or sister for o, but finding out i was pregnant when he was only 9 months old was both super exciting (yeah! i'm not broken afterall!) and super scary(whoa. 18 months apart.) and it still is. 2 babies - what a gift! but holy moly - 2 babies! yikes!!

and so, when i have hard days (or hard nights) i have to remember how desperate i was to have kids. i have nothing to complain about. i am living the life i have always wanted to live! i get to stay at home and watch my boys grow up. i get to smell henry's sweet breath and wrap owey's curls around my fingers. i get to play cars and stack blocks and read books and listen to a little itty bitty find his voice and observe the world around him. i don't have to deal with angry customers and traffic and deadlines. i get to create the world for my boys. i get to decide what their environment is like. i get all the kisses and snuggles i want. (well, usually.)
here's the thing about blogging. i have a hard time striking a balance between the "mommy-blog" that talks endlessly about how wonderful her babies are and how everything is sunshine and rainbows all the time, and the "bitter-blog" that uses the blog as an avenue to vent and complain. of course there are good days and bad days. i would love to be able to write honestly not worrying about the way others are perceiving my thoughts. yet, the knowledge that friends and family are reading makes me strive to do better, be better, and find life lessons to relate. so, would you be patient with me as i fumble through this mothering business hoping i can be the kind of mom i've always wanted to be? and would you bear with me as i learn to find my voice?

this is the dawning of the age of aquariums...

2009-04-16T13:55:00.000-06:00

guess who got annual passes to the aquarium in sandy?
oh, yes we did.

moments.

2009-04-15T15:59:00.000-06:00

little henry. (with big brother in the background on his favorite new toy - the baby swing. oy vey.)

it was after a few long nights of little sleep and plenty of frustration and feelings of inadequacy and incompetence that i spoke with carlie on the phone. expressing my fatigue and feelings of selfishness, she reminded me of something that i really needed to hear that day, and today too for that matter:
from a talk given by Elder M. Russell Ballard last april

"First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.

Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: 'The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less' (Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11)."

those words (as paraphrased by carlie the other day) hit me like a ton of bricks. sure, there will be sleepless nights. there will be crying babies. there will be disciplining. there will be tempers lost and rough days. and some days may feel like i am fighting a losing battle. but, if i am strong enough and brave enough to relish in those beautiful moments that do come when i am looking for them, i feel satisfied, nay, HAPPY in my role as wife and mother and don't completely lose my mind in this pile of diapers and burp cloths.

shortly after that conversation, henry slept soundly in the other room and i had a few minutes with owey to myself. we read books together and laughed together and then he let me rock him and sing him to sleep. (those of you who know owey well know that he doesn't do this- he rarely falls alseep anywhere but his bed.) as i sat there holding my (big) baby, i felt overwhelmed with joy at what an awesome time of life this is and at how lucky i am to be able to spend each and every day with these beautiful boys. and when the house is a mess and there is laundry to fold and i can't hear myself think over the sound of the dishwasher, the favorite dvd of the week and the cry of a hungry babe, i have to reflect on these moments that make it all worth it and seek them out each day.

owey- the master at living in the moment. (showing off his new death-defying stunt of jumping from coffee table to couch.) and me? i think i'm living in the moment by not caring if you see what a disaster my house was that day. so there.

what do you do to live in the moment?

hippity-hoppity

2009-04-13T21:56:00.002-06:00

happy easter!
we decided to hit up the orem easter egg hunt on saturday to feel a little festive. didn't realize it was going to rain (oops on the hoodie only for owey). didn't realize that owen had no idea what to do (thought he would see candy and go for it!) until we started singing the clean-up song (worked like a charm). didn't realize that every man woman and child in orem would be there as well (made for good people watching). didn't realize the "hunt" would only last about 2.2 minutes (how exactly can you call it a "hunt" when everything is plainly in sight?) didn't realize that there was another egg hunt across the street from our house until we got home. oops. still, we had a good time and owey was super excited about the one piece of candy he got! i was excited to get out of the house and to participate in the community fun.
what i did manage to realize, however, was that easter is so much more than colored eggs and chocolate bunnies. i am so grateful for the knowledge that i have of the resurrection of Jesus Christ and for all that it implies. i hope i can always remember to celebrate that priceless gift.
a clip from my favorite conference talk:

countdown...

2009-04-08T21:00:00.007-06:00

(another photo courtesy of auntie m)

five diapers changed before noon.
four hours of sleep (if i'm lucky).
three crazy weeks.
two amazing boys.
one tired (but happy) mama.

i promise i will update more soon. just trying to get my mind around being the mom of two!

i'd like to thank the academy...

2009-04-03T08:29:00.004-06:00

may it be known that it is not always easy for me to be on the receiving end of charity. that being said, it is a lot easier after going through major surgery and trying to adapt to life as a mother of 2. though proper thank you notes will be sent soon (don't worry mom-i know my manners) i had to take a second to publicly applaud:
1) grammy.
my mom and dad came in town the day before henry's big arrival. my dad was only there for a day or 2 (so glad henry got to meet his namesake!) but my mom stuck around for a week to take care of owey while i was in the hospital and make sure our house stayed afloat. i could go on and on about this, but i think this picture pretty much sums it up:

my boys love their grammy. thanks so much mom. we literally could not have done this without your help.

2) auntie m.
my mom and sis literally handed off the baton (or car keys in this case) in the airport so that i wouldn't be without help. miq came and stayed 5 days, taking time away from her little ones to make sure i was ok with my little ones. i am so glad she had a chance to bond with owey and to meet the new addition and hopefully get a chance to relax a little too. we had a lot of fun together and i'm so grateful she was willing to make the trek.

3) grandma and grandpa.
as we speak, owey is with grandma and grandpa in evanston. don't get me started on this because it has been way harder than i thought it would be to let my boy go away for the week... however, i have been able to rest and recover like i would not have been able to had he been here. we are off to pick him up this afternoon and i can hardly wait to see that heartbreaker smile. it has been fun to have henry to ourselves and to get to know him (and boy has it been quiet!) but we miss our owey. i feel so lucky to have inlaws that are so willing to extend a hand and who love their grandkids so much. it made it a little bit easier to send him off knowing how well he'd be taken care of.

4) all the rest of y'all.
thanks for the meals, the kind words and prayers, the sweet gifts, etc. we are so blessed. i've been saying that over and over again for the past few weeks. it's true.

growing up fast.

2009-03-29T11:43:00.003-06:00

(picture courtesy of auntie m)
is it just me or did this boy grow up soooo fast in the past week?
everything about him just seems like a big boy and i can hardly stand it! his hands, feet, puppy dog eyes and all the rest seem to have grown at light speed now that there is an itty bitty in the house.
one of the hardest things about recovering from a c-section has been to not be able to play with and hold and cuddle with my #1. i already miss him so much and hope that he doesn't think he's been replaced.
good thing is owey happens to also be smitten with his baby brother. he just can't get enough of him and besides all the kisses and pokes (owen likes to point out henry's body parts) he also is super curious to watch diaper changes, feedings, and says "ba-by" in the cutest little voice when he hears henry cry.
oh how i love my life as a mom of 2 boys!

still...

2009-03-26T15:02:00.004-06:00

after 4 years i...

still feel like the lucky one
still get giddy when i see you
still consider you my best friend
still know i'm a better person because of you
still look forward to many adventures
still love you like i loved you on that day (only more)
still can't wait for eternity
still sleep better next to you
still wake up happy next to you
still think you are perfect for me in every way
still admire the kind of husband and father you are
still dare to dream with you
still know on march 26th i made the most important and best decision of my life.
still love you madly.

happy anniversary, loverly.

oh henry!

2009-03-24T11:45:00.001-06:00

our dear sweet henry randall entered this world in a much calmer fashion than his big brother did- and it seems his precious little personality is reflective of such...
thanks to my better half, you know most of the juice (thanks, love - isn't he sweet?) but i thought i'd give you a few more pictures and the details that only a girl can delight in.
after very little sleep from 2 anxious parents, clint and i strolled into the women's center in orem - fully prepared (well, as much as you can be) for a c-section and much fewer surprises than the first time around. i felt calm and grateful to have had that option to make things a little less chaotic and stressful around our house and get things in order. we spent a few hours waiting for the green light and in the meantime our parents arrived (along with big brother o) to take part in the big day and celebrate the arrival.

here is where i confess that i totally did my hair and makeup at 4:45 in the morning because i was not about to have pictures this time around as embarrassing and blackmail worthy as those of me after owen was born. i'm telling you. not cute. at all.

speaking of blackmail pictures, clint got dressed up like the marshmallow man while i got a big ole needle in my back and tried to remain calm as slowly my body became completely foreign to me. have you ever seen someone move your leg, but not felt it - at all?? it is pretty trippy. the anesthesiologist was also kind enough to let me know (after i was already numb - thank goodness) that the surgery right before mine hadn't gone so well - the spinal didn't really work and the poor chick basically felt the entire c-section. now there's a way to keep your patient calm and collected. note to any future anesthetists out there- don't EVER do that. luckilly, i was more fortunate that morning and did not feel the slicing and dicing, and what seemed like minutes later, we had our beautiful boy out safely into the world. i will spare you the yucky pictures and show you one of him after he was all cleaned up:

it was a bit of deja-vu really - different circumstances, but the same rush of overwhelming emotion- mostly deep and profound love- came over me. the tears began to flow as i realized our son had finally made it into our arms and that he was now and forever part of our little family. what gratitude and humility i felt to know that another angel had been sent to us and that it was our responsibility to raise him and love him and teach him who he is... what an awesome privilege!
here is where i get to meet him up close and personal for the first time:

do i look happy? i am . soooo happy.

my first impressions: he's white! he looked so much lighter than owen at first, but now he is darkening up a bit. other than that(and possible blue eyes??!?), he looks so much like his brother to me that i really get confused what year it is and who this kid is!

and then dad gets a turn:

there is nothing i love more than seeing the man that i love hold the baby that i love in such a tender way. my boys sure are lucky to have such a father...

and of course owey had to check him out:

he's not quite sure, but is getting used to the little guy.

i have always felt that henry would be a gentle giant in our family - one who brings peace and goodness, but a strong little guy as well. owen had such a distinct personality when he was born and so far henry has been suuuper mellow - boy am i glad!

some more pics just for fun:

see... i can be tough...

even though there are no pictures of me in a hospital bed, i did spend 4 days recovering in the hosptital. clint came as often as he could between class and homework and all of that craziness, and grammy brought owen a few times a day so i could get my owey fix and he could get to know his baby brother a little more.

we came home saturday afternoon and are now adjusting to life as a family of four. for as nervous as i was to be a mother of 2, i am genuinely thrilled to have these boys in my life. i know that there will be days that i will not feel up to the challenge, but for now i am so happy with the Lord's timing and His will for our family. grammy (my mom) will be here a few more days to help with o and then my sis will come to relieve her for a few more. after that the real adventures begin. any advice on how not to lift an 18 month old for 6 weeks?

owey loves to give kisses to henry- it melts my heart every time!

recovery is going well. painful, but well. it is hard for me to slow down as much as i need to, and i pay for it big time. the good thing is i know it will only get better and easier. phew.
last night clint and i were trying to express the different feelings we are having this time around becoming 2nd-time parents. it is amazing how much love you feel for someone you don't even know. we love owey so much, but we know owey so well and have spent every day with him for the last year and a half. we love henry so much- this perfect little stranger that we have welcomed into our home. our hearts are full of hopes and dreams for how his life will enrich ours and all around him, and we are extremely aware of how infinite a parent's capacity to love their children can be. we can't wait to get to know him more and to find out the missing pieces of our lives up to this point that he is sure to fill.
thanks for all of your well-wishes and heartfelt thoughts. we feel so blessed to be surrounded (even if you are far away) by so much love and goodness. we can't wait for you to meet baby henry!

To all our faithful readers,

2009-03-20T00:56:00.004-06:00

I feel quite inadequate to write this post... see, I am not this blog's regular author whom you all know and love (or at least stalk). The wonderwoman that is this blog's main contributor is resting and recovering from something that she has now proven twice to be very good at; the fine art of brewing the cutest baby boys. Certainly this ability has nothing to do with dad for she possesses far more beauty to pass along. Dad supported of course, but she was (and always will be) the star of the show.

My wifey gave birth to Henry Randall Erickson via C-section at 8:17am on Wednesday morning, in the middle of a long line of other births that day (stereotypical Utah). Henry was 7lbs. 4ozs. and 20 inches long. He is happy and healthy and has lots of dark hair like owey, but his skin is a little lighter, and his eyes might be too. My Loverly (Jessica) did awesome and was feeling up to a short walk by that same evening. Owen isn’t sure what to make of the idea of little brother threatening his “attention monopoly”, but he can identify Henry’s eyes, ears, nose, and toes. Momma and the H-bomb should be home Friday or Saturday so you, the reader, will certainly get a first-hand account then (and hopefully some better picts). We love our two little boys and feel infinitely blessed! Thank you everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes.

Here is a picture of Henry only a few minutes old. (Owen De'ja vu?)

happy birth-day eve!

2009-03-17T14:48:00.000-06:00

dear little one,
it's the day before your birth-day and i can't tell you how excited we are to meet you.
looking down at this big ol' belly of mine i can hardly believe that after all these months and all this anticipation, you are about to make your grand entrance into this world. i hope you are ready for the craziness that is being an erickson and that you are looking forward to getting to know your mom, dad, and brother (and the rest of the world that is waiting to know you).
i'm sure you're enjoying your last few hours of preparation - and we can't wait to feel of that spirit you are sure to bring with you straight from heaven.
we love you so much and anxiously await your arrival.

xoxo,
mom, dad, and big brother o.

the parable of lightning mcqueen

2009-03-05T12:06:00.000-07:00

if you happen to not have a boy between the ages of 0 and... i don't know... 12? or you happen to think that subjecting your child to disney movies is of the devil or you've just never seen CARS, i'm sorry if i lose you here. just bear with me. or don't. your choice. whatever.
since i do have a son in the appropriate age range and since disney movies often save me my sanity, i have seen CARS approximately 5 bazillion times and know the darn thing backwards and forwards, word for word.
the other day i noticed myself doing something silly. there i stood folding laundry while o sat in the next room chillin with lightning mcqueen. i was rehearsing the movie line by line in my head (don't ask me why) when it got to the first turning point of the movie. one minute rascal flatts is singing 'life is a highway' and next thing you know some stupid show-off cars pull up next to mac and one thing leads to another and mcqueen ends up abandoned on a freeway in the middle of nowhere facing the wrong way!!! i found myself thinking - 'if those dumb cars would'a minded their own business,' and 'silly mac should have pulled over to rest,' and other alternatives that would have prevented lightning from ending up in radiator springs. stay with me. there's a point, i promise.
i'm pretty sure i'd thought these things every time i'd seen/heard/been in the presence of this movie, but the other day it hit me how dumb i am. duh. first of all, if mac had gotten his rest or if those ridiculous flashy cars had left him alone, the movie would've lasted about 15 minutes and would've been pretty lame. second, if lightning would not have ended up where he did, he wouldn't have met his best car friend, his car girlfriend, his car mentor, etc - AND he would not have learned that he was a cocky little booger and that there are more important things in life than winning.
why am i re-hashing this, you ask?
i am so prone to look at my life and wish it were something it is not. i tend to think 'if only we were done with school,' 'if only i didn't live in the snow,' 'if only such and such unpleasant event hadn't happened in my life,' etc. really though, how am i to know that all of those things, hard as they may be, are not the source of eventual blessings and happy-ever-afters? i can not see the end of my movie right now, but i am sure that those turning points are there for my benefit. at one point, being 25 and single seemed like a curse - but would i trade those feelings in and sacrifice finding someone who fits me so perfectly? and would i give up my precious boy to have been able to get pregnant easily and exactly according to MY time frame? heck-to-the-no. and although i can't really tell what is going to happen in the end and what crazy twists and turns my life will take (which hopefully will not include paving a road and going tractor tipping,) it all works out in the end. it always does! and that, my friends is the parable of lightning mcqueen. aren't you glad i shared?

thank you, friends.

2009-03-05T08:27:00.000-07:00

you always know how to make a girl feel good about herself.
and no, i will not start a baby business- too much work! and it takes the love out of it for me. i really enjoy making things for my kids and for gifts, but beyond that it isn't very fun. thanks for the compliments though!

nesting.

2009-03-04T17:33:00.000-07:00

nesting has taken a different shape this time around. since i was working full-time up until 2 weeks before owen was born, i was in a panic to get everything ready just in case he came early. i spent the first few days off scrubbing every surface of the house and doing more laundry than i'd ever done in my life. and then, when everything was baby-worthy, and he did not come early, i sat around bored out of my mind.
this go around, i have had NO desire to clean. maybe it's because i have a toddler and the second after i clean it will just be messy again. or maybe it's because i live in an OLD house and can't really tell a difference when the house is clean because it's just that dang old. or maybe it's because i hate cleaning anyways and cleaning when 8 1/2 months pregnant sounds worse than being hung upside down by my toenails when 8 1/2 months pregnant.

this time nesting has been much more enjoyable.

take a gander:

the goods: 1 yummy minky/flannel blanket, 2 receiving blankets, 4 burp cloths, 1 beanie, 2 pairs of booties, 1 onesie.

so, i may have gone a little overboard to make sure this little guy has some home-made goodies from his mama. i think it may be that i feel a little bad that he will live his entire life in hand-me-downs and although owen has his fair share of hand-me-downs from his cousins (thanks miq!) he at least had a shower and got some new things that were all his own. so, i figured i would have to put my creativity to use for #2 and hope he doesn't notice the spit-up stains on all his onesies.
anything else i should add to the stash?

tie-wearin.

2009-03-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

my little boy looks like a little man now that he is a tie-wearing church goer. i guess it's time to grow up now that he's soooo big and goes to nursery all by himself (yes- a few weeks early- just in time to get him used to it before his whole world is turned upside down - aka- arrival of baby brother.) love that little man.

new arrival.

2009-03-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

we are excited to announce our new arrival:

kenmore erickson
weight: heavy
height: just right
joined the family on february 28th, 2009

mom and dad are doing well and couldn't be prouder of the new little addition.
owen is adjusting well to the change (i.e. mom not standing in front of the sink doing dishes by hand for an hour every night and subsequently not complaining about her aching back and dry dish hands.) we look forward to many adventures with our little kenmore. we'll call him kenny for short.

hallelujiah!

my baby.

2009-02-18T14:27:00.001-07:00

yesterday i got the bug to go through baby stuff and make room for #2. i thought it was a project that may take a week, but it turns out i am more organized than i had given myself credit for and was done by lunch time. as i sorted through owey's clothes deciding what to keep out and what to put back in the storage shed, i couldn't believe the nostalgia that came over me. the 6-12 month clothes reminded me of carmel valley and rexburg, of the craziness that was our life last summer. long car rides, trips to the park, hopes to make new friends... 3 - 6 reminded me of running. somehow i pictured all of those little clothes on my bundled up running partner that faithfully accompanied me on my quest to challenge myself. it wasn't until i got to the 0-3 month box that i found myself nearly welling up. how can it be? owey was never that small. how did he get so big? pulling out those teeny tiny little onesies and itty bitty jeans and camo pants just made my jaw drop. where did all the time go? and, (in 28 days) will i really have another little love of my life small enough to fit into those precious memories in fabric form? i was doing pretty good until i found the lamby jammies and that's where i lost it. i mean, remember this?

clint and i used to wish he could wear those lamby jammies every night - he just looked so yummy and cuddly in them. but now they wouldn't fit over his foot if we tried. what happened to my baby?
with the thoughts of little brother coming to town, while i am of course anxious and ready to be done being pregnant, i am starting to feel panicked at the thought of losing the only baby i've ever known and loved to pieces. does he have to grow up? can't they just stay little forever? of course i can't wait to meet the new addition, but what about my main man? i miss him already...

mr. cupid was good to us...

2009-02-15T17:57:00.000-07:00

he started out with pink pancakes and strawberries for breakfast and ended with cpk, peanut butter balls and sugar cookies with good friends. in between...

he brought a new do:

lots of snow for owey to eat:

some new books for me:

a few beanies for clint:

and lots of love. i have yet to finish the turtle and his friend mr. bear (i'm trying to find the best option for eyes)
we had a great day - simple, yet fun, and most importantly TOGETHER.
my sweet man made me feel loved and beautiful, as always - and put his money (not literally) where his mouth is when i woke up in the middle of the night crying in pain with charlie horses in my legs. his immediate response to rub, rub, rub until those nasty buggers went away reminded me of what love really is. not flowers or chocolates (thank goodness) or sparkly gems - but caring for someone else and their needs more than your own. i am one lucky girl.
hope mr. cupid was as good to you and yours...

my funny valentine...

2009-02-14T08:58:00.000-07:00

today i am so grateful to love and be loved by this hot hunk. i never could have imagined such a perfect match for me and such a happy life in love. thank you for all that you are and all that you are becoming. i love you more today than ever before and look forward to more where that came from.
all the way home...
xoxo, cakes.

love is in the air...

2009-02-12T20:30:00.000-07:00

so, valentines day has never been my favorite holiday. it seems most of my (single) life it only made me painfully aware of how very single i was (which is why we dubbed it single awareness day) and the thought of pink and red hearts and x's and o's and blah blah made me gag. i remember when i got my mission call and realized i'd be in the mtc on v-day and i wanted to die thinking about all of those desperate valentines sent to missionaries who were supposed to be focused elsewhere. (i was a little dramatic- it wasn't that bad.) i had a bit more hope once i found my man, but turns out, although he is many things, a lover of "made-up holidays" is not one of them. and so, we have never made a big deal about it. clint has made sure to make me feel loved, but not in the over-the-top, ridiculously over-priced red roses and diamonds kind of way. just simple expressions of love that he says shouldn't require a holiday to flaunt to the rest of the world. knowing this about my hubby dear makes valentines day a lot easier - i don't expect much and neither does he. 'nuff said.
this year i decided to make it easy for him and still work to my advantage (i'm a good wife like that). the other day when he got home from school i let him know that since he is so busy and tied up with tests and quizzes and chemistry, i had already arranged for my valentine's day gift from him (sometimes you just have to take things into your own hands). and what is it you might ask?

a much needed trip to the salon.

i know- i'm sooo extravagant.
it has almost been a year since i've had a real profesh do my hair, and though i'm not that high-maintenance, it's time. so, i'm trying to get ideas for what i want - something cute and funky, yet easy and EASY. coincidentally, my sis just got ba ngs and i've been contemplating the same thing - though i haven't had bangs since... 5th grade maybe? of course that would mean i would either a) straighten my hair a lot or b) pin them back a lot - i don't believe in straight bangs with curly hair. though i see it all the time here in lovely utah, in my mind that hasn't been ok since perms and the wave were in style (like i said- about 5th grade). and if you've never seen curly bangs, consider yourself lucky. not pretty. so, i have 2 more days to stew over what to do... i know, my life is so exciting.
in other love day news, here is a sneak peak of my present to owen:
i'm pretty much in love. he's not done yet, and he has a friend to go with him that isn't done either, so i'll be sure to post pics after the big day. i love making stuff for my boy, but unfortunately he's not quite at the age to actually appreciate hand-made goodness (actually, do boys ever appreciate that?) - hopefully he'll like it and my arthritis won't be in vain. (i don't really have arthritis - but after a day of crocheting like a mad woman you would think so.)
we also attempted sugar cookies - since owey is obsessed with watching me cook (wants me to hold him the entire time, which is quite tricky with a giant belly and a heavy, squirmy toddler) i thought he would totally dig it.

wrong-o. the boy was not impressed. and i was not that impressed with martha's recipe. nikki - i need yours asap! (yet another reason for you to start a blog)
so, on we go trying to be festive and love-ly.
i mean, really - all you need is love...

hope against hope

2009-02-03T14:28:00.001-07:00

last night we read elder uchtdorf's conference talk for family home evening (this after having a relief society lesson on hope on sunday) and today i can't get his words out of my mind:

"I remember well the days in my childhood encompassed by the horrors and despair of a world war, the lack of educational opportunities, life-threatening health issues during youth, and the challenging and discouraging economic experiences as a refugee. The example of our mother, even in the worst of times, to move forward and put faith and hope into action, not just worrying or wishful thinking, sustained our family and me and gave confidence that present circumstances would give way to future blessings."

most of us have never lived through a world war, will never know what it is like to be a refugee, have never had serious health issues, and have all the opportunity we could ever ask for. i admit, my silly little trials pale in comparison to all that elder uchtdorf went through as a child. and i think of his mother. how did she do it? how did she manage to have hope through so much despair? how did she let that hope radiate through her and permeate the lives of her children? how did she help them to realize that even in the midst of great struggle, there is room for happiness and for hope?

i went to bed thinking about how i can be this kind of a mother. how can i, regardless of circumstance and situation, make sure that my children see me as a ray of hope? how can i help them to know that even though life may be hard at times, we can always find peace and joy?

i don't know the answer yet, but i know a few things i can do to start:
1) i can work hard to eliminate negativity in my life
2) i can surround myself with optimistic, loving, happy people who make me want to be better
3) i can let go of worry, anxiety, stress, and unmet expectations and realize that none of these things change my circumstance and only make me more miserable
4) i can recognize hope as a gift of the spirit and pray to be filled with it

easier said than done? yes. but i think i may have just found my mission for 2009.
i have so much to hope for.
at the top of my list are the hopes i have for my beautiful boys (clint included).
is it possible for me to live this year with more hope for the future and less wishing things were different? i think it is. and i think i am ready to give it a go.
"sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be." - don quixote

mark your calendars...

2009-01-30T10:39:00.000-07:00

march 18th is the big day... our lives change forever... again!

what's new:

2009-01-25T19:55:00.000-07:00

1) did you notice my new blog design? thanks to my seriously underpaid graphic designer (that would be clint) we have a whole new look around here. those of you who thought it was me, thanks for the compliment, but you really overestimate my talent and underestimate my laziness. i did pick the colors though! (yay me!)

2) it snowed again this weekend. not that i love the snow, but it was desperately needed after a few weeks of nothing and all the old snow was all nasty brown. it's amazing what a fresh new coat can do to an make the world beautiful again. i took this picture sunday morning because (although hard to tell from the pic) these were the biggest, wettest snowflakes i'd ever seen. it was like slurpee snow. apparently perfect for snowballs (what do i know... ?!)

3) owey finally fits into dad's belt - and we can't get enough of it. i just love that thing!! what a stylin' kid!

4) owen thinks he's big. he is now obsessed with eating like a big boy (notice the spoon in one hand and the other hand in his mouth - whatever works, kid!) and although fun to watch, it makes for quite the clean up.

i think there are pictures of me about this age with yogurt all over my face too. like mother like son i suppose.

5) an artist in the making. owey is so content drawing and is sure to be an artist like his dad. this keeps him entertained as long as we can keep the crayons out of his mouth.

6) one of my latest projects - here is the hat i just finished crocheting. carlie gave us a visor beanie that her son had outgrown and i went on a mad search to find a good pattern to copy it. i think it is to die for - now to figure out a way to make him keep it on his head. (i guess when it's cold enough out he keeps it on!)

7) this isn't anything new - i just couldn't resist snapping this picture of my cute tuckered out little boy. don't you just want to eat him?
8) i think we may actually have an official date for # 2's arrival. not exactly what i was hoping for (hard to arrange around a busy school schedule!) but what can you do? i'll keep you posted as plans are further cemented.

what's new with you?

faces of owen

2009-01-21T14:27:00.000-07:00

is it just me or am i the luckiest that i get to look at this cute face all day long!?!

the bump. well, more like the basketball...

2009-01-13T10:09:00.000-07:00

be advised: very pregnant woman has been asked for a pregnancy update. danger!

(don't say i didn't warn ya.)
well, here we are at week 30 (and a half. let's be honest, the half weeks always count.) and i'm feelin it. it's funny the difference between this pregnancy and the first. since i was so sick with owen for almost 6 months, by the time the last trimester rolled around i was just so thankful to not be puking all the time that i didn't hardly notice the heartburn, the lack of oxygen, the crushing weight, the ridiculous bladder. well, that may not be entirely true- i noticed... it just seemed like such a relief compared to what i'd already been through.
this time around i was not nearly as sick (thank goodness!) but i must say the end of this one is much tougher. maybe it's crawling around on the ground playing cars, trying to hold a clingy toddler when he needs his mama, the already thin air, or that last time around i sat at a desk all day and then came home to lie on the couch all night. somehow i feel bigger (though i started out 20 lbs lighter than i was when i got pregnant with owen), more tired, and more dizzy pretty much all the time.
so, that's enough complaining.
i find that my emotions surrounding this pregnancy are so different. just like with owen, i am both excited and nervous, but in a totally different way. instead of the anxiety and unknowns of what it will be like to be a mom, now i just wonder how i will ever do it with two. will owen feel like he is getting the shaft? will there be enough of me to go around? will i crumble with no sleep, 2 babies, and recovery from a c-section? will clint get to spend quality time with his boys and still be able to do so well in school? i understand that i am not the only second-timer that has ever felt this way - and i know millions of moms have survived this stage. i really want to be present and somehow soak it all in instead of going into survival mode. any suggestions?
at the same time i am so excited for him to finally be here! i love the thought of our little growing family and being surrounded by my boys. we found out he was a he at a particularly poignant time for me - right around the election when i was so anxious about the future of our country and what that meant for my children. my heart was so full of worry of how they would handle the world and how i would prepare them for it. as soon as we knew it was a boy, clint reminded me that i'll now have sons to protect me and our family. my own little stripling warriors. what a comforting thought. i can't wait to see owey as a big brother and to watch these two grow up to be best buds. and to hold a teeny tiny baby again and kiss those tiny toes... oh, the thought makes me melt. i just can't wait.
as for the plan? i just found a new doctor here (thanks to aunt heidi), though unfortunately he can't see me until the end of the month. heidi recommended him since he did her c-sections, and i am just grateful to not have to pick a doctor by closing my eyes and pointing to one on the list. and yes, we are planning a c-section. i know it is possible to have a normal delivery after a c-section, but since the first one didn't quite fit, i have a sneaking suspicion this guy won't either. besides, being able to plan it all sure is convenient with a husband in school and grammy coming to help with owey and all that. my due date is march 21st, and i'm hoping i can schedule something the week before. i'll cross my fingers.
and as of now we are still undecided on names. we've gone back and forth on luke and a few others. the hardest thing for me is that there really isn't any name that i am just in love with. and honestly i'm not sure if we'll know before we see him (soooo not like me, i know!!) any names you love right now that a) go with erickson (no jacksons, hudsons, andersons, etc.) and b) are unique, but not weird (like owen)? most of the names on our list i have issues with how common they are (that's my biggest beef with luke). being a jessica, i know what that is like and want to avoid it if at all possible.
discuss.

side note...

2009-01-12T21:36:00.000-07:00

so glad you all enjoyed the tour, and that you can laugh "with" us, not at us (right?)
just a few side notes- clint has always been and will always be the one with decorating sense in our family. so, i let him have at it and have yet to be disappointed. i will pass the compliments along.
the bathroom - i realize now that i didn't even comment on how freaky the shower surround is. unique is one way to put it. crazy weird is another. i think the walls are made of redwood or something? kind of like a sauna?!? i don't know who's idea that was! and remember how i posted not to long ago asking for your best shower cleaning advice? yeah- we're back to square one. i don't even know where to start. deck cleaner?
i laughed so hard when kim (one of my mission comps) compared it all to argentina... honestly, i hadn't even thought about it, but yes- the heater is pretty much the same, the toilet - just as frigid, but thank goodness we got a washer and dryer, so we don't have to wash our underwear in a bucket with a broomstick. (though we do wash our son in a bucket - sans broomstick. hmmm... which is worse?)
speaking of - taking a shower with owey might be a viable option if a) owey wasn't deathly afraid of the shower (i have no idea...) b) i didn't have a gigantic belly and could actually hold him without killing the both of us, or c) owey was awake by the time clint got in the shower (i'm not even going to complain about this one. sleep in child!) so, for now - plastic storage bin it is. that's all.
more updates to come!

"home is home, be it ever so humble." -proverb

2009-01-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

welcome to our home!

we love to have visitors, so make yourself at home! mi casa es su casa...
as you can see, it's nothing fancy, but it feels just right for our little family and we feel blessed to have found something that fits our needs so perfectly.

this is where we spend most of our time... the family room. i just love the picture wall (clint's idea, of course). it took some convincing for me to love the old wood built-ins, but somehow it just fits now. the fireplace doesn't work, so we have to come up with something cute to keep it safe and covered up. any ideas?

standing in the family room this is what you see... looks kinda dark, but these are the entry ways.

i'm dying to get my hands on this baby, but it's hard to put money into something that's not even ours!

ah, the retro kitchen. the floors are new (hallelujah! no vinyl!) but everything else is seriously from the 50's. take a good look at those solid metal cabinets. i've never seen anything like them. the good news? owey doesn't even TRY to open them. who needs child locks when you have these suckers? and if you know anyone getting rid of a portable dishwasher in the area, let me know! these dish hands are killing me!

the source of our warmth and sanity. we were nervous about this - no central heat, how well could a radiator possibly heat a whole house? and would owey burn his little fingers everyday? so far so good - works like a charm, and owey knows not to touch it and says "hot" when he gets close.

by far - the biggest compromise when deciding whether or not we should take this place:

the bathroom. the one and only. if it looks tiny, it feels tinier. it is for sure the coldest room in the house. and no tub. hence...

that would be a plastic storage bin we are using for a bath. hey - whatever works, right? o doesn't even notice the difference. i know someday i will look back on this picture and laugh. heck, who am i kidding. i laugh when i look at it now! sometimes, you just have to make do with what you have, ya know?

sorry, no pictures of our room or owey's room (they're still a mess), but you get the idea.

really, all things considered - we couldn't pass this place up. a real house (no shared walls!), a big yard (complete with apple tree!), and best of all - right across the street from a great park that i am sure we will be at EVERY day in the summer. now hopefully we don't outgrow it too fast! i'd love to not have to move for a few years...

hope you enjoyed the tour! if you'd like to see it in the flesh (or wood or brick or whatever) we'd love to have you!

where to begin?

2009-01-09T11:02:00.000-07:00

last night (after a week of disconnect from the entire world, i.e. no internet) i finally got a chance to catch up on emails, blog-reading, etc. and that's when i got totally overwhelmed by how much i have to blog about and how i have no idea where to start.
i could start with grueling details of our move, about how awesome clint did for yet another semester at byu-i, about our dreamy trip to san diego for 2 weeks - the food, the fam, the friends, and christmas! i could write about how big my boy is, how much he loves having his puppy back at our house, about our little house, about the 2 feet of snow we got this week, about clint's first week at (the true) BYU (so, i'm a little biased), about the 3 books i read this week (no internet and no cable - what else is a girl to do?), new years resolutions, how i'll be a mom of 2 in just over 2 months (yikes!) .... you get the point. this could go on forever.
yet, i feel like i have nothing to write about at the same time. a little "writer's block" if you will. still, since i feel i've totally neglected you, my faithful blog buddies, for weeks now, i must post something. forgive me if all i have the energy for is a few pictures:
unfortunately, i haven't taken many pictures lately (so even this is a total cop-out), and hardly got any from christmas (i know, shame, shame!) but here are a few of my favorites. next on my to-do's (besides showering for the day) is to take some pictures of our new place. (maybe i should clean first?)

didja miss me?

2008-12-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

we are alive. alive and well.
we made it to our new little home safe and sound (through the craziest snowstorm i've ever seen and many not so small miracles) and got settled in and mostly unpacked just in time to pack up our suitcases (sans gloves, beanies and snow shovels) to head for real home.
and here we are. it's amazing what a paradise i grew up in. the skies are clear and blue, the trees and grass are green as spring, the air is only about 50 degrees warmer than any air i've felt in the last few months, and oh- family and friends are near. paradise, i tell you.
we will be here for 2 weeks and i have never been so excited to relax and soak it all in... the food (which, by the way - i highly recommend planning your next pregnancy around thanksgiving and christmas! it's awesome!), the music, the lights, the little boy loving on his grammy and papa, the spirit of the season.
i wish you and yours the best time of the year. i hope you all find yourselves at home.

"At Christmas, all roads lead home."
~ Marjorie Holmes, American writer.

so long little rexburg.

2008-12-12T10:36:00.000-07:00

remember this?

so, we don't leave until tomorrow (as long as all goes as planned), but today is our last day with the internet and i wanted to be sure to record my thoughts as we leave this little life here in rexburg.
last night as i knelt down to pray i thought about what a crazy adventure it has been to be here for the last 6 months, and (hormonal as i am) completely lost it. though i may have complained to no end (sorry clint) and i may not have totally understood all the reasons we had to come here, i do feel as though all went according to plan (not MY plan, of course) and feel blessed to have had this experience and also, of course, to be moving on from it.
just a few things that i've learned from life here in rexburg:
1. i can do anything if i feel like it will be beneficial for my family in one way or another - even if it is outside of my comfort zone.
2. while san diego will always be home to me, i can make a home wherever i am if i put my heart into it.
3. family is everything. i would never ever have survived this journey without owen and clint, and having our families so far away has been more difficult than i ever imagined. i am so excited to be closer to family, or at least to an airport.
4. i can make friends. i was so nervous when we came here that i would never find friends since we were so different from your typical byu-i students, but i have made some great friends that i hope to be in touch with for a long time. really, most people have something in common - kids, crafts, being poor, you name it. though i may be 10 years older than some, we still have common ground to stand on.
5. anything worth having is worth sacrificing for. we may still have a long road of school ahead of us and many years of sacrifice, but i know it will be well worth it in the end.
6. i can love and support my husband by making dinner and keeping a clean house. i know this sounds somewhat obvious, but it's amazing how i've tried to avoid it in the almost 4 years we've been married. now that he is so busy and i literally can't do his homework, go to class, or take his tests for him, these are things i can do.
7. owen doesn't care where he is as long as he has us to love and entertain him. he could care less that there is not a target nearby, that he wears hand-me-downs, or that it is freezing outside. he is happy when we are happy and will adapt to whatever situation we provide.
8. humility is easier to learn when you are willing. if you try and submit mostly, but hold on to the last bit of control as long as possible, the process isn't any easier, quicker, or less painful. the opposite is true, in fact. i can't say i've really actually learned this yet - but am in the process and hope that i can learn from my mistakes and just give in already.
9.when you go without, you appreciate so much more in life - be it friends, family, the sun, the mall... you name it. did i tell you how giddy i was driving through provo when we went to look for a place? the same town that used to send shivers down my spine and give me a stomach ache... but now - oh wow, how i will appreciate happy valley in a different way than ever before.
10. god knows me and my family and has me in mind. we have tried hard to recognize the blessings that have poured into our lives since leaving behind so much and we have seen his hand more visible in every day than at any other time since we've been married. it is harder to feel sorry for yourself and your situation when you see how much you are given each day and how truly merciful god is.

so long little rexburg. we are grateful for what you have taught us!

p.s. no posting for awhile... just to warn ya!

it is a state of mind.

2008-12-12T09:27:00.000-07:00

"To the American People: Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. If we think on these things, there will be born in us a Savior and over us will shine a star sending its gleam of hope to the world."
~ Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), American president. Presidential message (December 25, 1927).

it is a heavenly gift.

2008-12-11T18:03:00.000-07:00

How silently, how silently
The wondrous gift is given!
So God imparts to human hearts
The blessings of his heaven.
No ear may hear his coming;
But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive him, still
The dear Christ enters in.
(O Little Town of Bethlehem.)

it is in your heart.

2008-12-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree."
~ Charlotte Carpenter.